We’ve become more like roommates the past several years.
In 2021 he went away for work-related training for 3.5 months and I didn’t miss him at all. Often when he called to talk I would speak to him briefly then get him to talk to the kids (2 teenagers). Or sometimes I would tell him I’m too tired to talk (usually he’d call late in the evening).
When he came home I told him how I felt and we did some counseling (online with a counselor over Zoom) in early 2022. We realized that we both have a not-so-great communication style. Neither of us want to really talk about our problems.
My main issues with my marriage is I feel it is very one sided. I have been a stay at home mom since we married in 2005. I have had part-time jobs since 2016 and none of them have been very well paying. I moved to the US from another country to be with him. Our nearest relatives are a 16 hour drive away so we don’t have any family support and I do the majority of the housework and caring for the kids. When he gets home from work, he eats the homemade meal I prepared then goes to watch YouTube videos all evening with his headphones on. I do the cleaning up and get the kids lunches made for school the next day.
I should also mention that I am going through menopause so my hormones are out of whack. I don’t desire sex at all. I don’t want to be intimate with my husband, and I don’t have any interest in being with anyone else. To be honest, most of the time I daydream about being alone in a tiny house with no one to bother me 😆
Is it wrong or bad to want to stay married but just want a friendship with my spouse? I guess I’m afraid to be alone at this stage of my life, but I also fantasize about being alone. It’s so weird.
2 comments
Try to take out some time for yourself join some online activities or maybe some group services in the area to feel less lonely and just being tired by the work! Also try to communicate with him over dinner if possible try to set some date nights with him whether home one’s or outside try to watch some movie together!
Rediscover your husband. It is normal to have ebs and flows in marriage. Also you both should plan a trip to go see your family.
Have him clean sometimes and cook you meals.
My husband does this with me it might help you feel more appreciated. Also something like that doesn’t come normal it is a discussion.
Your teenagers should be cleaning up as well. It better not be just you!!
Wishing you the best ♡♡♡♡