I am 23M started dating recently, the girl I am dating currently.. we went on multiple dates before she said yes to me. While she was going out with me she was seeing someone else too and went on dates with that guy as well. The dude tried to kiss her on the dates and doesnt behave well publically. He is too much pushy as what she told me. However she still talks with that dude even now frequently and the dude persists to still meet her, she often denies him as she said to me she will not meet him after she started dating me. Now that dude is going to US for his studies now my gf brought up that again and she says she will meet him before going to US. Idk but Im extremely sad and I said to her “Do whatever she wants”. At this point Im fedup with this topic with her & feels drained.
Please suggest something 1
4 comments
I would bail if she’s talking with another guy
In my opinion, you should honestly consider leaving it alone all together. It’s one thing to talk to people before dating but once y’all are committed then those doors should be closed. Don’t be an option and don’t put up with anything you’re not comfortable with. At the end of the day it’s just not worth the headache.
” He is too much pushy as what she told me.”
“However she still talks with that dude even now frequently….”
“..she says she will meet him before going to US.”
No, you’re not being insecure when your mate constantly reminds you there is *competition* out there *pursuing her*. Secondly, she remains in contact with a guy *she claims is too pushy*.
Generally speaking, people don’t stay in contact with those they find *offensive* or *disrespectful*. Either she’s only been telling you half-truths, or *she’s actually attracted to him*.
Apparently, whatever he did or didn’t do wasn’t enough for her to consider it a “deal breaker” and *block him*. Getting together *one last time* before bidding farewell means she still cares.
Even after you two became a “couple” she *never* cut this “pushy dude” out of her life!
Not many people would want their mate *hanging out* with anyone *who keeps hitting on them*.
You are entitled to have your own “red flags”, boundaries, and “deal breakers”.
If something *doesn’t feel right to you*, it’s probably *not right for you*.
When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.
No one is “stuck” with anyone. Suffering is optional.
***”To thine own self be true.”*** – William Shakespeare
***”I would rather adjust my life to your absence than to adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect.”*** – Unknown
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Just move on, she obviously isn’t interested in just seeing you.