So I suck at social skills and also have social anxiety, so with the new year coming up I wanted to improve it.
I started reading the book but I feel it tells us what to do but not how to do it?
For example say – “you need to be genuinely interested in people”. But how do I do that? Do I ask about them? But isn’t too much asking about them feel weird? Should I avoid talking about me?
The thing is most of what he tells is what I already do. That’s why I’ve had good friends and even good relationships in the past.
What I suck at most is starting a conversation with a stranger and getting their attention. Throw me at a party and at the end of that I’ll be the weird guy who was standing in the corner.
I want to change that, I want to learn how to talk to strangers and make new friends. I’m in a new city and have been feeling pretty lonely.
I feel most of what he tells could be applied on people you know about. Not random strangers you meet.
Do you people have any book recommendations for that?
3 comments
When I’m in a social setting I’m always listening for the interesting conversation, usually one I can jump on without much effort. “Hey, are you talking about blah blah blah?”
If I hear a topic I know nothing about, but sounds interesting then I’ll ask questions. It’s easy to ask questions when my interest is piqued.
I’m not keen on going around introducing myself to people. I prefer to insert myself into conversations that work for me. It’s low effort. Then, having established a connection, I’ll do introductions if at all. I prefer to keep a degree of anonymity in most interactions. Meeting too many people become unmanageable for me.
That book was written by a salesman for fostering relationships with potential clients, many years ago. (Notably, Charles Manson took a class based on Dale Carnegie techniques while in prison before the whole Manson Family/ “Helter Skelter” murders)
It is not a textbook to gain social skills, necessarily.
There are many books that would be more suited to recommending ways to develop social skills.
I commend your willingness to learn and wish you success in your endeavors.
https://www.reddit.com/r/books/s/1bvpd2sjeM
See youtube – Mark Manson…
His book changed my life and how i see things.
I’m a introvert, and i have a lot of rejection wounds. To avoid rejection i was a people pleaser, so i made extra effort to be that person that people seemed to like.
Recently i came to realize that i can’t go against my nature to overcome my anxiety. I must respect me first…and i don’t feel lonely, i apreciate solitude…so i respect my self and avoid social interaction. I must learn to be with our selfs. We can’t divorce from us 😜.
Sorry about my english.