I think my best friend is in love with me?

Tldr; neurodivergent, afab friend is overly affectionate with me and gets jealous when I try to have alone time with my sneaky link. Does she like me/how do I tell them gently but firmly that im not interested in dating them? Advice desperately needed, thank you for reading.

So I (20f) and my friend (also 20f) have been friends for about a year. We got much closer last semester, particularly during the summer since we were the only people we both knew were around in between semesters. I’ve found myself recently single for a bit, and I got closer to someone I had previously considered just a drinking buddy (21m). Things happened, and now we have a friends with benefits situation, which has been VERY beneficial for me due to the amount of stress I’ve been under. We’re keeping what we have very much on the DL because of multiple factors, so hardly anyone knows about it. We hardly ever hold hands outside of his bedroom. The only person that does know is our mutual friend, who is the friend I think has a crush on me. They put the pieces together after seeing a toy that wasn’t put away and after I was upset from a disagreement he and I had.

I’m bi and my friend is somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum. I say “somewhere” because they’re not even sure where they fall on that spectrum. They’ve told me before that if they’re not aromantic, then she’s panromantic/asexual. I’m not super knowledgeable on the ace community other than the bare bones of what makes someone ace. I’m also generally stupid when it comes to reading people’s emotions/body language due to being very neurodivergent. Here’s some situations/behaviors that have recently started throwing me off once someone else pointed it out to me (not in chronological order)

1. Frequently asking to hold my hand, even if they already feel safe where we are
2. They’re very sleepy all the time due to sleep problems, so they ask to cuddle me a lot
3. Sometimes when we’re holding hands, she kisses my cheek
4. They got mad at me and my fwb for falling asleep next to each other because they “felt like the third wheel”. We had already informed the friend that we planned on napping when she came over, and they were taking up the majority of the space on the bed, so we slept on the floor. We weren’t facing towards each other, he wasn’t spooning me. We were sharing a pillow, but our bodies were in a V formation. Also, a thing to note, they told my fwb about how they were upset, but they didn’t tell me. As far as I know, they don’t know that I know what she said
5. They made a snarky comment to me about how me and my fwb had made plans to go to an event together. They invited me that day, so when I told them I had already made plans (but that they could tag along), they made a comment about how they didn’t want to be a third wheel. This was the first time they had ever said anything about it directly to me, so I let it slide because I didn’t want to blow up on her.
6. We went out to dinner at a fairly nice restaurant because she had never been, and I love the place. I went over to their place while she got ready, and she asked me to pick out an outfit. All the tops they had picked were low cut, some of them were fashion corsets, and some of them were borderline lingerie in my eyes. Idk, Maybe I’m just a prude
7. They seem to get really upset when I hang out with anyone other than them. She doesn’t have a car, and they live about 10 minutes from campus, where most of my friends live. I don’t have the gas money or mental energy to make multiple 20 minute trips several times a week.
8. We went to a festival where they got fitted for a corset. The corset was hand sewn, well made, and the pattern on it was rather elegant. I complimented the designer and then I told my friend that it snatched their waist. Since then, they’ve been talking about how they want to wear one, but that it’s not practical due to the climate/their job on campus
9. Related to 8, they’ve also been more sexual since the corset fitting. When I told them I was gonna head to my fav adult toy shop to pick up some things, she INSISTED on going with me. It wasn’t busy, so both workers were able to assist them if they had any questions. However, she would only ask ME things about the products and would make a sad face/whine when I told her to ask the employees. I was busy comparing prices/different designs, and they had a million questions about almost Every. Single. Item. I wanted so badly to shout “just Google it” after the 10th question distracted me from trying to shop. It took an hour to pick out 2 new toys because of them constantly interrupting me while I was in thought about what would be the best purchase.

Now, all those reasons seem very clear that they like me. However, we’re both very neurodivergent and afab, so affection comes by easily for the both of us. I tell all my friends that I love them, I hug my friends frequently, I platonically cuddle a lot of my friends (moreso when they’re upset), and I just overall treat my friends with the love and courtesy I can give them because I view friends as a closer bond than family. The line between friend or more has been blurred for me due to naturally being more affectionate with my close friends. So I’m not sure if they like me or not. If they do like me, how do I approach the subject?

She’s very cool to hang out with, but I really don’t want anything more than friends, and their behavior about me spending time with my fwb or any other friend is really making me feel icky. It’s not like I straight up ignore her to spend time with him, but he and I are in the same friend group. So naturally, when we attempt to go out for a date, others see us and join because they think it’s just a friend thing. I try to put some time aside for JUST me and him, and then she gets all jealous that I “never invite them to hang and im leaving them out”. I don’t want to come off mean to them or anything