Have a couple of Uncles like this – will ask you one question, listen to part of your answer, and then just carry on talking about themselves.
Thing is, it’s hard to find space in those conversations, because they are so eager to carry on talking that I feel as though I have to rush what I’m saying, because I know they’re primed to trample all over the conversation.
Obviously the rest of the family is aware of what they do, but no one ever says anything – British, can’t be done apparently – so what other strategies can be used?
If anyone has any book recommendations for dealing with situations like this, be glad to hear them.
Also, if you do this, if you’re the domineering one – FUCK YOU!
21 comments
Just smash their daughters bro
Grey rock them or ignore them or leave the room.
Sometimes I act like I’m falling asleep, I’ll yawn and act like I’m sorry, or let my face sag more and more as the conversation goes.
if you need a book to figure out the answer, you are probably destined to repeat what you’re doing forever
I interrupt them. Repeatedly, until they stop.
Wait until they say something they can’t defend or back up, then focus on it and keep asking questions like you’re actually interested in what they’re saying. If they attempt to redirect, don’t let them, just stay on the original question. They usually get frustrated and leave to talk to others.
Get used to saying things like “back to what we were talking about before” or “and since you bring that up id like to say…”If you’re actually looking to talk to them though.
If you aren’t a man and they’re just sexist people though, then your best bet is to talk around them. Show them the same lack of respect they show you and have your conversations with people who will care to listen, just brush them off or be dismissive in a reasonable way if approached to join a convo you won’t be allowed to speak in.
good question. entire cultures have been designed to get these kinds of males to shut the fuck up but if y’all are British then you guys aren’t one of said cultures
Wait for them to stop and then…
“Oh, I spaced out, what was that?”
“Did you get all that off your chest?”
“Can we have a real conversation now?”
Or just walk away…
Optional: come back with a drink and ask “did you even notice I left?”
If you actually want to say something, a loud “Excuse me…” and just repeat until they stop. Do not under any circumstance give up until they do stop.
Stare at the wall while they are talking to you, tell them if asked that the wall looks very interesting atm
Constant calling it out.
If you are not done talking and they carry on your next like is “excuse me, I was still talking.”
Followed by “If you don’t want to hear what I say then don’t ask me questions.”
This strategy will end in 1 of 2 results
1 they realize they were rude and let you finish, it may take a few exchanges but eventually they will learn you won’t be talked over or dismissed
2 they figure they are unable to carry a conversation with you and you don’t have to worry about it anymore because they won’t bother
Don’t talk to them. Ignore them. Even if they ask you a question, look them dead in the eyes and ignore them. There’s literally no point talking to them.
“Damn you talk a lot” “hold on a second, HOLD ON A SECOND”
Are they recovering alcoholics? Been around enough to know this is a hallmark trait.
I keep my answers real short. If it’s a yes/no question I give a yes/no answer. They’re not interested in what you have to say, so why say much.
Sit in silence and only answer with one word. Also can just walk away.
Listen, wait, listen, wait, listen, act impressed…. then when they inevitably get to the “hard ass shit I’ve lived through or seen” stories, continue to wait and listen and act impressed- until they finally pause and sip a beer with that self satisfied look that says “I’ve really impressed this young man.” Then, and only then, I’ll tell a short, but devastating one up story and return to my silence. Like, “your story about that high school fist fight reminded me of this one time when I was away, at war…”
If they are going to choose to be an absolute imbecile like that then I’m just going to disengage and exclude them.
I avoided them and they eventually became very old and died 😂 I was raised by a British mother 😄
Geez there is some horrible advise here: people come in all ranges of conversating styles.
ignoring and shunning people based on this metric doesn’t fix anything besides limits your ability to learn how to talk to everyone regardless of style.
Realistically, the path of least resistance is to just nod and pretend to agree. Being amicable is easier than butting heads, even if you disagree
i tell them that they are talking too much, and not giving me a chance to speak.
“uncle, i wanna hear what you have to say, but this conversation is too one-sided. lemme speak too!”
y’all gotta learn to stand up for yourselves.
I just walk off while this kind of person is talking at me once I get bored.