My (M26) boyfriend and I (F23) have been dating for over a year. I walked into the relationship with a high sex drive and spontaneous ideas and noticed his drive was a lot lower and was incredibly vanilla. We always had numerous fights in the beginning because we always went long periods without it and he always had excuses. Over time, it hurt my self esteem and I felt very unsexy for a while. As a result, I started losing my interest in having sex with him so I simply stopped bringing the issue up and paying no mind to the sexual aspect of our relationship.
Fast forward to today, the tables have turned and now he is the one attempting to initiate sex everyday. He voiced that he was upset that I always reject him, but to be truthfully honest, he completely killed my sex drive.
I am not sure if there is a way to fix this.
7 comments
Ooooof
Are you even sexually attractive to him anymore?
People are complicated. Learn to communicate because every relationship needs good communication. It’s hard to magically turn your sex drive on for someone if it isn’t there. You’re young, so maybe use this as a learning experience and find someone more compatible.
Time too say goodbyyyy!!!
I think you have to decide whether you want to fix it with him or not. That maybe sounds insensitive but if there is a question over it then you have to ask the question, rather than fight on in adversity.
It sounds as if your bf has been roundly insensitive to the situation overall. If you’re saying he killed your sex drive then you need to say the same thing to him. If he denies responsibility then you have to question his suitability as a partner.
Time for frank talk.
I am in the exact same boat. Started off good but now I feel like he’s just not attracted to me or just can’t be bothered for sex anymore. It’s killed my once high sex drive off completely
So it does work.
Would you say that you say ‘no’ now because of resentment or is it purely 0% sex drive?