Might not be the best way to phrase it, but everytime I go to work, people greet me and I don’t say hi back. I want to say hi back, but it’s like there’s this barrier in my head that tells me “They’re making fun of you, don’t respond” and I rarely if ever do.
I’m not sure why this is, maybe this is rooted in trauma? I want to say hi back, but again, my head tells me not to out of fear and self-preservation
Is there a way I can tell myself people aren’t making fun of me and that it’s common courtesy to respond?
4 comments
Just smile and say the weather seems nice today. Just throw it, no stress no obligation
Practice in the mirror. Then practice imagining them saying hi to you and saying it back. Actually visualise them saying it and imagine how you will feel in the moment. Then practice it at work. Try every day until you start saying hi.
Another trick you could try is to be radically honest. Choose someone at work you feel most comfortable with. Tell them you have really bad social anxiety so it’s hard for you to say hi but you’d like to practice saying hi to them every day. Any nice person would be understanding and willing to go along with this and help you get out of your comfort zone.
Don’t you shake their hands ? It’s hard to ignore someone walking up to you going for a handshake
I am not the most socially “functional” person, so YMMV. The way I do it is that I try to consciously say hello to every coworker I encounter, bonus points for being the first to do it.
And this is just for my own amusement – whenever I greet someone I slightly change the emphasis with every person I encounter. It helps when I have a bad day, because I don’t have to hide it – I just say in my monotone, dying inside voice the most elongated “mooooooooorninggghhhhhh” that usually makes the other person chuckle.