Men of Reddit, what’s your biggest insecurity?

30 comments

1. Well it used to be basically how I measured up against other men until about 25. Now it is not as my situation has gotten way better in every way..

   Now it’s my body image as I feel like I’m getting old (33 now) but still in the best shape of my life so I have no clue why that is. I work on an oil rig so I’m constantly doing heavy work got the six pack n all but I just don’t feel like I’m all that I can be.

2. The imposter syndrome gets REAL BAD. Especially right after surviving a round of layoffs

3. Anything about myself that I cannot change and has made/will make my life worse because of it.

4. My asian ethnical background living in scandinavia

5. My ugly face and my small and thin penis.

6. Oh geez, what *isn’t*?

7. Mostly the fact that I don’t live on my own at this time. Has led me to feel less independent than I would like. Current housing costs are in the way of it.

8. I get insecure with the feeling that I’m fundamentally lazy. Like I was born without a good work ethic or something. I can work all day and still feel like I didn’t get enough done. I feel guilty for relaxing instead of working on hobbies in my off time. So I set goals and don’t reach them. Another year goes by and I didn’t learn guitar like I said I would, or write that screenplay, or lose that weight. I’m a big procrastinator. And yet, even after being self aware of this, I still don’t change? Why is that?

9. My ability to care for my family after I am gone. I have an adult daughter who is essentially a 4 year old in a 22 year old body.

   Her care and how I care for her after I am gone keeps me up at night.

10. That I won’t live up to what I believe my potential is.

11. I am kind of dumb. I’m only insecure in that I am aware how dumb I am and know I don’t know so much and never will. I have no clue what smart people are talking taking about and never will.

    I’m not one of this smart people playing dumb. I legit can’t learn many things and did horrible in school.

12. Impostor syndrome

    Not being good enough

    Anything that would put me at a disadvantage compared to the rest of my peers

13. How much time you got?

    The list goes on and on, but the main ones are dick size (have been made fun of a couple of times) and not being good enough,

14. My arms are very thin, not correct diet and swimming too much

15. M’dick.

    Nobody has had anything bad to say about it actually, but the idea still lingers in my mind. Thanks porn, appreciate it.

16. Being short.

17. My schmeckle. I like my erect size, but I’m a grower. And when I’m soft it varies so much in size that if anyone saw it, they’d never get the right impression. Sometimes it’s 1 inch, sometimes 3 or 4. Then erect I’m pretty close to 6.

18. Losing the person I believe to be the love of my life. I saw a movie where this happened and I cried in a theater by myself having a minor panic attack lol.

    I never knew I had this fear until I watched it happen to someone else.

    I probably should talk to a therapist about this now that I think about it. I wonder if I have abandonment issues.

    Hmm, glad I saw this post. Feel like I kind of understand this fear more after writing it down.

19. That I won’t ever be good enough for someone.

20. For me, I don’t have any issues with my physique, but sometimes I feel insecure for having an upbeat personality cause sometimes people say I’m overbearing. I know I can be annoying and stuff, but sometimes I’m just goofy and weird, even pretty chilled out and the moment I get too excited or hyped people judge. I don’t try to let it get to me, but from time to time it does, even if it’s friendly teasing.

21. Probably financial insecurity. I know I’m a boss but my pockets don’t reflect it.

22. Dick size, belly size, intelect, hieght, and income.

23. My body due to scarring from life saving surgery.

24. I’m told consistently that I’m handsome so no worries there. I am short but I don’t really tend feel insecure about it. More so just frustration when I get curved solely due to my height. I don’t have a huge dick but I’m good in that department. Sometimes I do wish I had a huge dick, but I feel that’s a universal thing for all men who aren’t hung like horses.

    I think my weight is what I’m actually insecure about. I’ve been fat before and although I lost it, I still meticulously watch my weight and even stress about it sometimes.

25. Fear of abandonment.

26. Never being able to make as much money as my father/not having the same work ethic.

    I’ve had several clients insult my intelligence (38, just realizing I have ADD/ADHD).

    Overall attractiveness. It took me a decade+ to realize my long time partner is actually attracted to me and not just being nice.

27. 61 & single again. Balding, penis size, slight pot belly. Am intelligent but sometimes say the stupidest things. Know woman my age have had plenty of guys to compare me too.

    I am okay with all of this if I were to find someone that was okay with all of this.

28. If I could summarize it, it would probably be these 3:

    1) That no matter how hard I try it is never enough

    2) Technically I am in good shape, but I will always look/feel unhealthy to my eyes, so comments about my body hit me hard

    3) I don’t feel like I can openly talk about my feelings to more than 3 people, it feels embarrassing to let anyone other than those 3 that I feel anything other than “okay”

29. Well my wife cheated on me. So that’s definitely up there right now.

30. Where to begin. I feel as if I am constantly behind, I’ll never meet expectations, I feel as if I haven’t gotten smarter for the last 3 years, my memory is worse, I’m still fat even though I’ve been working out for months, I feel not emotionally available, I worry because everything feels grey and less fun as it used to be, I constantly distract myself with games and movies but then I get upset that I’m not working on my business enough, I want to work and do my projects but when I start I feel lethargic, I worry I don’t try enough, I’ve failed most of my goals, I’ve been a bad partner, I feel sexually inadequate, my junk is 6 inches but when I look at it I worry it’s not big enough, of my two serious partners, one was with another guy behind my back, constantly lied to me and told everyone about our private life, the one after her put little to no effort into the relationship and when I broke up with her essentially just forgot about me for a year, Most of my friends I’m either not close with or have lied to / betrayed me in the past. I’m not close with my family, all my hobbies that were good for me (cooking, gardening, working out, business project) I have neglected or quit doing all together, I’m failing my hardest college class and finals are in two weeks, I missed every single goal I’ve set for myself and constantly let my self and others down. I’m single and want to mingle but I don’t at the same time, I want to have sex and get back out there but I feel like a terrible person for wanting a sexual relationship, I watch porn again even though I told myself I would stop and did for a long time, I quit my previous job due to traveling issues but have been unable to find a new one for 4 months, I just feel drained.

    But it’s worse because now that I am working harder in most of these I feel like I’m still not moving forward. My business made some profit, I’m passing all but one class, I lost weight and have a semi scheduled workout time, I’m applying for more jobs, I’m putting more time into my business but nothing is changing. I went on a dating app when was honestly a bad idea but it’s not been too terrible for me, everything is moving forward but it’s so slow.

    I’m just tired of failing everything even when I’m succeeding