I’m asking about signs that are subtle. For instance, how can we tell without men actually saying this?

31 comments

  5. If you look at him and he was looking at you but quickly looks away when he notices you looking at him, and it happens more than once, there’s a good chance.

  7. He is always looking at you, you can notice it when you are in a group, he will still have eyes only for you.

  9. I was informed, after my guy’s best friend was with us last, that maintaining eye contact is flirting. I thought it was respect for the person speaking, but I was wrong.

  10. If someone tells you that they asked a question about you, when he could have asked you directly

  11. Speaking for myself: I find reasons to be around you or talk to you. E.g. my work crush asked me to do something for her per mail and I need more info/input? I could just mail her back. But I could also walk to the other side of the office to talk to her in person. ‘Hey, I’m just doing my job!’

    I steals glances at you whenever I can without devolving in staring and I will look in ‘your direction’ as often as I can naturally pull off. For example, I’m eating lunch with you and two other people and the other two are talking. It’s natural I look at them, who are telling the story. But I’m also looking her way when it’s not ‘necessary’, to ‘see her reaction/just interested in what she thought of it’.

    Also, when he remembers small things you told him and he follows up on them in conversation, or comes up to you to inform about it, in a way you don’t see him do with other people/women, that might be a hint.

  12. One thing worth considering is what the guy’s baseline is like. What is he like with co-workers, friends, family, strangers, etc… if the two of you are out with a group of people where is his focus?

  13. We are not subtle about it like women are. He will compliment you and tell you you’re beautiful

  14. Tries to demonstrate competence at something. Computer stuff…home or car repair. Tutoring an academic subject. Gives him a reason to hang out while showing that he can take care of you.

  15. It entirely depends on the guy as their personality will determine how they are.

    For me, I will give you “noticeably” more attention and consideration than others around us but unless you are familiar with how I am with other people, it may go unnoticed.

    I will engage with you on your level. If you rapid fire messages, I’ll reply if I’m available. I’ll take interest in you, what you like etc and internally find common ground to potentially start bridge building, if I think the chance of romantic interest is mutual.

    You will get battered with banter and jokes but appropriate to your boundaries. This is because I want you to smile, laugh and be happy around me. Because you make me happy with your presence.

    Confide a secret with me? I’ll take it to my grave. Discuss a worry with me? I’ll listen and either offer reassurance, comfort or advice. Whichever will help you more.

    That’s some light stuff. There is more of course but that’s a solid start.

    This is all fresh in my mind as I currently have a huge… HUGE soft spot for a colleague right now and I’m doing the above without meaning to ha! Also, I’m confident she has no romantic interest in me but I value our budding friendship so I’m still doing the above anyway. Plus, she has the cutest smile and laugh!

  18. Every time he saw me he smiled, he stopped to talk even when he was busy, he laughed at stuff I said even when it was kind of stupid and would always linger and try to keep the conversation going.
    (I asked him out and we’ve been together for 2 months 🙂 )

  19. If it seems like he’s encountering you more than would happen naturally, or interacting with you more than other friends/coworkers/whatever you are to him

  24. We can’t help looking at you. Hoping you’ll return our eye contact and smile, that’s the invitation to approach and talk to you

  25. Small compliments.

    I don’t just tell anyone that their hair looks great or that they picked a nice outfit today. If men are giving any compliments even tiny ones, it probably means that they are sincerely attracted to you. You definitely have their respect and all you need to do at that point is make an invitation. I don’t mean an invitation for sex, just take him out to lunch or something.

  26. As a woman, I am so oblivious to when I think men are attracted to me, and I am like a man in a sense where I struggle to read between the lines and need direct words. So this thread is definitely useful lol.

    So far, this man I personally find attractive and am interested in.. we often see each other in community places/events.

    The small things I notice are that he looks around often, and when he see’s me – he smiles, and continues on with what he’s doing. And does checkup glances here and there over the few hours we are in the same building. He always finds a way to make his way over to chat. For context, we are friends and text every few days.

    We’ve chatted from everything such as our past divorces, to foods we enjoy, foods we haven’t tried yet, fears, goals, places to travel, our shy and awkward moments we have, share jokes, etc.

    He does the approaching in person, and I generally start the conversation over text. We have so much in common, it’s uncanny, and never struggle finding anything to talk about, and often don’t break eye contact. We both bring up the small things that we talked about a week or two prior, taking small jabs at each other, or even things from months ago!

    Recently, I caught him a few different times sneaking in a quick peek at either my lips, or my boobs 😂 When we were standing next to each other chatting with a group of other friends, he slowly started getting closer, so I whispered something to him, and he didn’t hear so he leaned in, I put my hand up as if it was a secret, and repeated myself. Ending with him having a smirk on his face as I was being sassy haha.

    Later, one of the friends messaged me about how flirty we were, haha. I’m naturally a very flirtatious person and often don’t notice when I am doing it… and as stated… oblivious to others flirting with me.

    So, I find those to be things that may give it away? Not 100% sure 😂

  27. If he’s “shy” around you, he’s probably interested.

    I’m the shy type. I will talk to someone I’m not interested in like I’ve known them for 20 years, but the second I talk to someone I am interested in, I become speechless. Men are often afraid of rejection, so they’re also afraid of putting themselves in a position to be rejected, such as talking to you.

  28. There are no one sign. Some times it is polar opposites even; I have a few friends who would show them attention a lot and then there is a group that ignores their crush. They may talk to them or find reasons to be around them or they can’t form words and be around them.

    I personally turn cold towards her, distance myself from her and generally reduce my interactions with her.

  29. For me, if I’m making small talk with you or if I tell you that you look nice. I usually don’t really talk to anyone. So, if I’m chitchatting with you then that means I like you.

  30. He double-texts or multi-texts.

    He texts something then deletes or edits that.

    He brings up random topics that you spoke about during your in-person chat. Basically, he is trying a bit harder than usual to engage you. (Most men hate texting, it’s a pain in the ass)

  31. One I do a lot is avoid eye contact and scratch the back of me head when a woman I’m interested in greets me.

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