He’s my roommate and best friend. His older car recently stopped working and he doesn’t have money to have it checked out. I was unemployed for a few months and was driving him to work almost every day for the latter half of that time.
I started working hybrid a few weeks ago and have been letting him borrow my car or driving him to work on my lunch break and picking him up since he works til much later than me.
I feel like we used to hang pretty often and I’ve just been feeling like he only texts me when he wants to borrow the car or needs a ride. We’ve sort of hung out and done stuff like to to the store but again it’s me driving and it feels like we only go because he has to go shopping.
Tonight I was at my mom’s and he texted me asking if I could pick him up. I didn’t see that first text for a bit and then he texted me that our other roommate said she couldn’t so he would walk home. It’s a 2 hour walk. So I left my moms and went to him. We share our locations so I was able to get to him in like 10 mins.
While I was driving to get him I tried calling him multiple times and he didn’t answer. He texted me something like “you know where I’m at I’m sharing my location”. He was ignoring my calls. I feel like he was acting petty with me because I didn’t see his text until an hour after he sent it and didn’t immediately agree. I was hanging out with my brother and mom and left to get him.
I just feel like he gets really upset with me when I can’t drive him or let him borrow my car. We used to hang more often and we just don’t now. Part of that is because he has a bf now but our friendship just feels…. One sided now. If you scroll up our texts over the last few weeks it’s a large majority “can I borrow your car” “yeah” “can you drive me to work and pick me up” “yes”
I’ve driven him to work and picked him up OR let him borrow my car almost every day he’s worked over the last two or three months.
I lost it a bit today after he ignored me when I was going to get him when he was walking home (we live a 2 hour walk from his job btw in a not super safe area) and told him finally that I feel used as we were driving home.
He got really quiet and pouty with me and I felt like an ass. I’m his only source of consistent rides right now (his dad and our roommate occasionally drive him but I do constantly) and he’s screwed if he can’t get to work and make money.
But I also feel like I’m putting my life on pause a lot for him and he gets mad at me when I can’t.
I don’t know. I need advice.
Tl;dr my roommate and best friend has been asking me to drive him to/from work or borrow my car to do so almost every day for the past couple months and seems to get mad at me when I can’t do so and it seems we barely hang out anymore; most of our recent texts are about borrowing my car or getting a ride from me. I’m not sure what to think.
1 comment
It’s tricky because if you put your foot down and tell him that you’re not going to be his taxi driver anymore, it’s probably going to end your friendship (based on the way that he reacted when you did say something). But on the other hand, do you really want to be friends with someone who’s got no interest in hanging out with you besides sitting in the car with you when you’re giving him a lift?
If I were you, I’d sit him down and tell him how you feel. Have the text messages ready so that you can show him that his only communication with you has been asking for lifts or asking to borrow your car and that the final straw was him cracking the shits with you because you didn’t respond immediately for a lift. Ask him how he would feel if you were treating him in that way. And just see how it goes from there. If he values you as a friend, he’ll reflect on his behaviour and agree that it needs to change.
Has he asked your for lifts or the car since you brought it up with him and he became quiet and pouty?