How bullying affected you?

11 comments

1. It convinced me to isolate myself, have no friends and never believe anything good someone says about me…because it isn’t true. I’ve never dated (I’m 41) never approached a woman and now at my age I have no intention to start trying.

2. I learned to stand on my own and not judge myself by the bias of others.

3. I was just like you at 5’6″ i was always small and short among my classmates. I too was bullied, picked on, and beat up at times. I made a friend in my 11th grade year of High School that was actually smaller then me but very muscular. Nobody would mess with him because he was buff. One day he told me to point out my biggest bully at school, he walked right to that guy in front of everybody and got in his face. He mafe him apologize then told him if it evet happened again he would have to deal with him instead. The guy was scared shitless. From that moment on I knew I had ti start working out. I became obsessed with bodybuilding and once my efforts became visible my days of getting bullied came to an end. Now 30yrs later I’m still working out and a bodybuilder, i’m stronger than many people twice my size which I love knowing and showing.
   I’m told that I’m intimidating and other guys stay out of my way now and many compliment or ask me about my workout routine.
   Thing is that’s all good and it feels great to have the tables turned for once, but I too have been burdened my whole life with the after affects of a childhood of bullying.
   I suffer from anxiety disorder and ocd, along with always lacking self confidence outside of the gym.
   I also carrry a lot of anger and rage, and honestly hate most people. I have zero patience for any kind of bullying or victimizing of others and am quick to act or intervene. I have so much anger at myself 30 years later for never really standing up for myself back then. I was raised by a single mother and just had no male role model to teach or encourage me to deal with the bullies. The fear of going to school each day and wondering what was going to happen that day, whether it be physical harm or humiliation is something you never forget. This was back in the 80’s, I would get so mad sometimes i wanted to bring a weapon to school and hurt one of my attackers. If it was in todays day and age I may have. We these kids that get bullied then come to school shooting, I totally get it and part of me hopes they got their aggressors. I would never condone that but I get being pushed to the breaking point.
   I also suffered in silence because I was too ashamed and embarassed to talk to anybody about it and never have. I often wonder how different my life would be had people just left me alone and let me be. I mever did anything to deserve any of it, I was just guilty of being smaller than others. I wonder too what I could accomplished if I had the confidence I never had or have. People are just jerks I got picked on for being skinny and small back then and now that I’m super muscular from time to time I get “Oh he must have little man’s syndrome”. Fuck people.
   If i were you I would suggest working out even just for yourself, its a great way to boost confidence in yourself and just feel good in general.

4. I was bullied as a kid and of course hated it. I was both short and skinny, especially for my age, until I hit 17. Jr. High was the worst. Easily the smallest kid in any class and got picked on by football players and such. Guys I couldn’t possibly handle in a fight.

   But then after that it just kind of stopped and one of the kids that picked on me in 9th grade started sticking up for me after that, I don’t really know why. But it was appreciated. Some teasing would still occur, but then I realized this was just the kind of teasing that happened in a lot of friend circles and I just rolled with it, laughed, joined in. Now I have friends that can tease me in similar ways as bullies did in Jr. High, but I know they are just kidding and don’t mean it and I give back as good as I get, so it’s all good. Nobody’s feelings are being hurt.

   The “offended easily” part jumped out at me. Try to keep in mind that some people only tease people they like (that’s how I am and I know a lot of people that are like that too) So some of the offense you are taking might be meant as playful banter and nothing more.

   I was into my early 20s before I really got that and now it doesn’t bother me at all.

5. I was bullied once in life before puberty

6. I was never bullied at school but I shared rooms with my older brother who’s one year older than me and he bullied me on the daily basis. Since he knows me better than anyone else his words hurt more than anything else. He never physically hit me but he was relentless with his verbal bullying.

   I’m confused however because all my best moments in my life have been because of him and all my worst moments have been because of him. I kinda learn to kill him with kindness I know it sounds corny as hell, but I kissed his ass and was nice, and he just felt bad so he would stop. That eventually changed him and he stopped but it took him a long time to change.

   I feel like it has affected me because I’m like the ultimate people pleaser now. I don’t like that because there’s times I know I’m getting taken advantage of but I don’t care.

7. Martial Arts was my way.

   Most people I know who train for a long time outgrow violence as a means.

   You become someone other than you used to be.

   Unintentional side effect was women LOVE the uniform. lol

   Even training alone at home will work.(Plenty of training vids around)

8. I fought. Every single bully. I got in trouble in grade school a lot and got suspended twice in middle school. But by high school nobody wanted to fight anymore so you just move from there. But I can say in my adulthood if I perceive any kind of bullying, I go into high alert and gear up for a fight lol

9. I happened to get bullied a lot by the popular girls in high school (they did drugs and I didn’t like it. So I wasn’t into them).

   It spread to a majority of the girls in the school just outright avoiding me

   And that probably played a role in why I have zero interest in dating, FWB, or even hookups with anyone.

10. Left me with a terminal case of misanthropy

11. It made me a lot more bitter and cynical, even now, 20 years later.