Soo get called sexy and hot the most. Then striking or stunning. Then gorgeous/beautiful the most after that. Generally only my women friends say I’m cute. I realize that this all sounds insane and egotistical but does being called primarily hot and sexy mean men don’t view me as a potential long term partner? I keep getting involved with men that seem to see me as a conquest and not a partner.

13 comments
  1. I don’t think being called a certain word necessarily has anything to do with conquest or partner. Individuals are beautiful, gorgeous, attractive, stunning, striking, radiant, cute, smoking, sexy, hot, etc. all of these words just describe looks but not personality.

    Attraction and personality both play a key part on if it’s just a one night stand or long term relationship. I’d say focus more on context of the conversation and how it’s being said and personality of the individual.

  2. >does being called primarily hot and sexy mean men don’t view me as a potential long term partner?

    Yes. Men hate it when their wives are sexy. I wish I married a goblin instead.

  3. Honestly the term they choose really doesn’t mean much.

    If they are attracted to you, they are attracted to you.

  4. >I keep getting involved with men that seem to see me as a conquest and not a partner.

    It’s you who decide who you get involved with. Probably so called “nice guys” are invisible to you.

    When you find your true 2nd half opinion of the whole world doesn’t matter, cause you’re hot & gorgeus for him, even if the world would rate you 5/10 at best.

  5. I would suggest that the guys who see you as “hot” that you would be interested in as long term partners, are seeing you as “out of their league” which is why you are ending up with guys who see you as a conquest.

    I would suggest that you seriously consider not dating anyone who is interested in you, and start looking at the guys who aren’t approaching you. And approach them.

    One of the “unintended consequences” of the” me too” movement is that a lot of really good men are terrified of approaching attractive women, because they are afraid to be labelled as a creep.

  6. Hard to explain. They are all very distinct. Know it when you see it type of deal.

    Hot would be the least desirable for ltr
    Cute second least desirable.
    Beautiful most desirable in any relationship.

  7. Good looking and fit, no thickness… but not over 5′ 7″ = cute or sexy

    All of the above + 5′ 8″ to 6′ = hot

  8. The question is how much of what you portray about yourself comes across as just your “hot” parts /appearance versus other aspects of your personality.

    For example, it would be an issue if you want a long term relationship but the men don’t have an opportunity to see past the hot to how kind, smart, caring, etc you are for whatever reason (you are “hot” because you talk more about sex than other things you’re interested in, or your clothes are so hot that they make guys think you’re looking more for a hookup than a relationship).

    It’s also totally fine to be hot and hookup as long as you just also show the rest of you. A hot hookup that involved superficial conversations, flirting, then sex isn’t likely to lead to more because that’s all he sees. But if you’re hot and, during the night, you flirt but *also* start talking about the momentum you’re making in your career, you volunteer work, your connections to your family, he may want more.

    Ironically, some women have the opposite issue. They come on strong with only career, things they want, but don’t flirt. They don’t show their sexual side at all, they don’t let their playful side out, and the date ends because there’s no chemistry. A date shouldn’t feel like a job interview.

    Sometimes people “lean in” to a part of them that “works” so much that they lose the other parts. They get accolades for being smart, do they are in “smart work mode” all the time and forget their very real “fun mode.” Or they’re told they’re sexy, so they become “sex goddess” 24/7 and neglect their goofy side. That’s not authentic. That’s being scared to be honest and vulnerable with yourself and others. You have to be yourself with your boyfriend, and that includes the unpolished parts.

    The “right” answer is to find the balance that feels *authentic* and works for you. If men only see your hotness and there’s much more to you, you aren’t being entirely authentic or yourself with them. They need to see all parts of you to see where this could go long term. Sometimes that’s just anxiety, so remember – this is about you assessing their fit for you as much as them assessing you.

  9. Hot and sexy means sexual.

    Gorgeous and beautiful means just your natural beauty in an elegant sort of way.

    Cute means innocent appearance quality.

    I find myself wanting to bang sexy hot girls for ons and to me I only go for cute for ltr. You can be sexy or cute and be Gorgeous or not quite Gorgeous. So beautiful is better but it’s not the primary thing I look for in a relationship.

    This is probably the most straightforward understanding of what’s happening you’re going to get.

  10. The first thing to understand is that 1 women can be any or all of these things at any given time. Just because a women is cute does not mean that she’s not also hot or beautifully and that also might change at any given time. It’s also a bit dependant on her attitude and way of carrying herself.

    Hot women are women I want to fuck, but that is all. They are like an exotic car, fun to drive amazing to look at but totally impractical in normal everyday situations. A women who’s hot just oozes sex out of every pore. It’s just a pure animalistic urge.

    Beautiful women are for looking at, like art. It’s nice to look at them, but it’s mostly like I want to put them on a shelf to decorate my home. It’s not that I feel any urge or desire it’s more of an intellectual thing.

    Cute, cute is where it’s at for me. A cute women is someone who I want to protect and make pancakes for. I want to cuddle, I want to have sex with her but it’s more of a I want to ruin her? It’s a strange thing to discribe.

    For me none of these things disqualify you as long term partner material. In fact, one women can flow between all these categories often depending on her attitude.

    Think of it like how a man can be strong AND tender just in different situations and how both of those qualities are attractive but in different sorts of ways.

  11. Hot funnily enough like fire fades the fastest I’d say.

    Cute and beautiful are fairly long lasting if she takes care of herself.

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