My bf an I have been dating for a few weeks and talking for a few months, and last night we decided to have sex. He wasn’t able to cum during it, and we have no idea why, he said he is attracted to me and has no issues getting hard.

11 comments

  4. Very, very common. I was never able to cum the first time with any of my girlfriends (including my wife, we’ve been together now 16 years) because I was nervous about performance, the condom, whether she was enjoying herself, etc.

    Also, and this is important, your boyfriend not climaxing has nothing at all to do with how attracted he is to you. Orgasm is a fickle thing, tied to dozens of physiological and psychological processes.

    Bottom line: he’ll probably cum next time, or the time after, and then the issue will be climaxing too fast. 😉

  5. Speaking as someone who has this same challenge (and working on it), there might be a few reasons:
    1. Is he taking any medications like anti-depressants? Those have side-effects that include Anorgasmia which is what you described.
    2. How frequent does he masturbate and if so, is he always gripping so tightly when he orgasms? Death-grip syndrome can result from poor masturbation habits.

    3. Is it possible that both of you or just he is so fixated on making someone cum that it creates anxiety about not cumming?

    Without much more information it’s hard to tell what could be affecting it.

  6. Very common. Big anxiety and nerves first time around for many guys.

    To be fair if after a few months talking and a few weeks dating.. then to be put on the spot… like NOW. DO IT. Enough to make a many a man’s todger feeling… a bit challenged.

    The todger basically has a brain of its own.

    Sometimes it is in the mood… good to go!!!…Where did that come from??? The morning wood???? A dream?? Bang.. a boner is growing.

    The blood is sucked down from the brain. Todger is in control. (Basic male dysfunction here .. not enough blood for brain AND erect todger).

    But the cock can also be VERY shy… if it does not feel welcomed.. Or a new partner

    Take a longer run up. Try some massage.

    Just hang out watching TV film whilst wearing very little (snuggle under a blanket).

    Snog and enjoy. It will work.

    XXX

  7. Nerves and/or fatigue. Medications and drugs/alcohol can also make it difficult to climax.

    There are lots of factors. It’s not you though. As long as the two of you have fun, he doesn;t ahve to cum every time.

  8. If you were using a condom they decrease sensation. Put a little lube inside the condom before he puts it on. Can be just saliva. Makes a world of difference. Or he is masturbating with what they call a death grip which makes him need a lot more stimulation and friction.

  9. This actually isn’t as uncommon as people think it is. It could be for a multitude of reasons which don’t necessarily have a “solution” either. My partner and I began having sex and he prefaced to me it’s hard for him to finish. I was very discouraged and even felt embarrassed that I may not be skilled enough to make him finish. But after long conversations and playful/healthy experimentation, we have found ways to work around it and still achieve orgasm in other ways e.g oral. Sex toys, lube, pleasure rings, whatever your partner is comfortable with trying.

  10. Nerves. Heard that happens quite often. Just enjoy each other and as you two become More comfortable together things will come together 🤭🎯

  11. Any chance he’s still hung up on someone else? I had that issue once when dating someone while in love with my not available at the time current wife

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