So the counselor told us she’d first give us an individual session, so I had mines yesterday.
If you need to know about our marriage issues, you can read my previous posts…
The counselor basically told me that it doesn’t seem like my husband wants to change and that he will most likely do what he did again, and that he’s emotionally blackmailing me and that I really shouldn’t stay.
I feel like continuing the therapy is useless at this point, but I want my husband to do the session, just to see if he’s willing to change his behaviour…
5 comments
damn Ur therapist told you that?? usually they try and act very neutral
It looks like you know you need to leave him but aren’t ready to. Get therapy for leaving him
Continue it for yourself.
if your husband is willing to he can use it to address his attitude and behaviour to see if he can be the person you want him to be, but as far as couples therapy, if your therapist is saying this you are just pouring water on sand hoping to grow daisies.
All you end up with by doing that is getting wet sand.
Something you should remember is that therapists aren’t magic. They aren’t perfect. Some of them aren’t very good. And some are just plain bad. Some are great.
I’ve had many therapists over the years, and my experience is that really good ones are hard to find. And a good therapist is generally neutral, and they don’t assess someone they’ve never met.
Your therapist may not be wrong about your situation, but don’t be afraid to talk to someone else and get their perspective.
It’s pretty rare and extreme for a therapist to go there.
I would say go to the couples session but be prepared to simply say you want to separate. Go in separate cars if you can and have you own family or friends at your home to support you.
Plan it out beforehand so you know as much as you can about where you’re going. Even if you have no plans to get back together, call it a separation rather than divorce, time apart or whatever works. It’s not about trying to string him along, it’s just keeping as much backlash and emotions in check as possible until you’re setup with no chance of him lashing out in some way.
Regardless of any cheating or such which may or may not exist, you don’t need a reason to leave or to feel justified or such. If it’s over it’s over and you just need to take courage and move on. Continuing to see the counsellor through this can help to mediate things and even some individual sessions with yourself could help.
Good luck 👍