I have a really abnormal path so far. I’m 26. I worked for my dad through high school and college doing construction – it allowed me to make excellent money and have flexible hours. I wasn’t a fuck around… i saw the opportunity i had and used it. I was getting a degree in exercise science and learning the trades.
Out of college i met a girl and moved states to be with her. My degree wasn’t paying what (my spoiled/unrealistic self) I wanted – so i took a leap and started my own business. I didn’t ask for help from my dad and figured it out for myself. My dad isn’t a business guy at all… just a 1 man show who does the trades because he loves it. I taught myself some basics for accounting, marketing, etc.
Fast forward from 23 to 26, my girlfriend and i broke up. it hit me really hard… and amongst a lot of other things I’ll spare the details of, it’s been a fucking perilous 12 months. Our lease ended as she broke up with me and i didn’t know if i should stay there – i moved back to my home state.
I havent had a job and i don’t know where to live. My trade business is still waiting there for me if i want it but would take some time to get jobs booked again. I did like the city i was living in. I only have 3 connections there though, but that’s more than moving to any other city. I dont want to live where i grew up. I have enough money in the bank to make 5 months of living go basically anywhere (on a budget of course).
I can do anything, but don’t know what to do. I feel like any city i look at, i convince myself out of. Ultimately, i want to do mens work related to health coaching and trauma / self-regulation, but I’m young and definitely need time to get life experience + build the business based off of what i do know and have experience with.
How do i approach making a choice? I’m tempted to move back, but concerned I’m not making a big enough leap and playing it too safe.
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> How do i approach making a choice?
My advice would be:
**a) Avoid big mistakes.** If you’re not sure what you think you *should* do, first focus on what you *shouldn’t* do — in your case, things like burning through your savings for no reason, or making unnecessary gaps in work history that will cast a shadow over future employment. A big part of successfully navigating life is simply avoiding mistakes, holding on to what you have, and keeping the momentum.
**b) Make a plan.** It should be common-sense and within reach, but it also be something you want. In this case, something that might get you closer to the field you ultimately want to transition to. In your case it might mean doing some consulting on the side or partnering with someone who’s already in the field you want to move to. Your main plan should always involve a degree of risk and should always be forward-looking to what you really want.
**c) Always have a backup plan.** It’s hard to take risks in life, even common-sense ones, if you don’t have a fallback position if things don’t work out. In your case it might mean moving back home or refocusing on the industry you have experience in. It’s not the end of the world and it puts food on the table. Be clear with yourself what your backup plan is and whether or not it’s something you can be happy with. Disappointment is one thing, but resorting to an unlivable situation or something you’re deeply unhappy with if things go wrong isn’t a working backup.
You can apply the same general framework to decisions about where to move, who to work/connect with, etc.
Mostly it’s just common sense and not overthinking things. Life is going to decide certain things for you. So long as you’re doing your best and have a reasonable plan for each step of the way, you’ve done your part.
Good luck.
You’re running your own race. You can move back home and spend some time working through the breakup and coming up with your next move.
Striking out on your own in a new city can be very difficult, doubly so if you are looking to start your own business there. I was in a similar situation as you and decided to play it safe. Moved back to be around friends, worked through my issues, found the path I wanted to walk and now I am focused on that. I don’t exactly enjoy the city I am in, but I am making the best out of it. I am going back to school, going out and trying new things, just making myself the best possible version I can be. If an opportunity comes up later on I will be ready to seize it.
Likewise, I also decided that friends and family are the most important things to me. My best friend is following his dreams in another state and honestly, he is the only friend I would consider when looking for places to move. If I were to meet an amazing lady during this stage of my life, I think I would prioritize her over the aforementioned opportunities.
You are focused on your exercise science career and that is awesome. I think if you try and make everything you do relevant to that, you will be fine. For instance, if you take up a job in an elderly home doing rehab or something, don’t despair that it isn’t your dream, try and find the relevance of what you are doing and how it helps you to achieve your ultimate goal. With that mindset you will see tons of opportunities.
Have you considered having an online presence? I know a couple people that do personal training, health coach, etc and they have found some success through Instagram and the like.
This is what a gap year is for! Travel, work around the world, meet people, stay in hostels. You will never be in a better position to do this OP. Go and see the world.