People of reddit, need your advice here. I have been with this woman for 5 years now. We met during undergrad and we slowly became bestest of friends.
She understood me and accepted me and I also did the same. We studied the same major and we spent countless hours studying together. Naturally, feelings got involved – I had been casually hooking up with different girls but I would think of her as a potential life partner. Until one night, she basically made the move on me and I decided to immediately drop anyone else I was seeing and start to see her. It developed into a great relationship but then somewhere around the 3 year mark we started having some troubles that would come up in the form of arguments and monthly fights and things of that nature. I started feeling slightly less attracted to her. Let’s also say that she kind of let go of herself a little bit – we used to hit the gym together and workout and things like that but for some reason she just completely stopped. The quality of my sexual life declined but I would like to mention that I was her first experience so she wasn’t the best to begin with. I have tried to leave the relationship a few times but I always end up going back to her because I am so used to her being an essential part of my life.
I can’t imagine not having her around but I can’t tell if I just want my good friend rather than my partner and that’s the reason I keep coming back. It has gotten so bad that when I fantasize about sexual things – she’s not the one I am thinking about. I am unsure what to do and very torn. Wondering if anyone can shed some light onto this. Please feel free to call me out on any bullshit you think I should be to blame for – I need someone to hold me accountable because I am overwhelmed in thought right now.
Tldr: stopped being attracted to partner of 5 years.
She’s my best friend and was my best friend before we become partners. Now absolutely torn on what to do. Should I keep trying or cut both of our losses and end this?
1 comment
It’s an impossible situation. I would know. I’m you in the future. I’m the version of you that went through with the relationship and got married. Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you. I’ll probably delete this, but I will tell you one thing—once you lose the attraction, it rarely comes back. Most people who gain weight never lose it.