Hi everyone! This is a throw away account lol but here’s some context on how we first met. 6-8 months prior to our match from 2 months ago we actually matched on bumble. During that time, I was literally on the app just to fuck around for funsies and never actually planned on starting anything with anyone. My profile did have pictures of me but it was mainly just memes and it was clear I wasn’t rlly there to hook up or date. Honestly I got super bored after talking to a few guys until I saw him. I matched with him because we had a lot of the same interest, he’s cute, and has an interesting personality. We talked for hours until we got super busy. This was odd to me because I usually get super bored fast and haven’t rlly had an interest in ppl in years. I’ve always had an issue with giving people a chance in the past. Eventually I did delete the app and lost contact with him. Now 3 months ago I decided to get the app again just to semi fuck around but try to be a little more serious since my friends all advise me to be a bit more open to relationships lol. As I was scrolling on bumble with my friend on FaceTime, I saw his profile again and immediately recognized him. I was afraid he would recognize me and swipe left if I were to swipe right. (It shows on top that you missed a potential match if you swiped left on someone who swiped right on you which would lwk be embarrassing if he did) Being distracted by something stupid my friend said, I accidentally swiped right. I remember cursing my friend (in not a serious manner) for distracting me but he did end up swiping right. On bumble, it’s the women who the ones required to make the first move but since he left a compliment/reply to my bio he was able to communicate first asking about a date.
I said I was down for the date but our schedules didn’t align to which he said it was fine. Keep in mind, I have never accepted or gave in the time to think about going on a date with someone ever. (It’s weird because at heart I’m a hopeless romantic lmao ig that’s prolly just some psychological issues on my part but that’s another story) We started talking again for a long period of time. We would send paragraphs to each and oddly he didn’t feel like an NPC at all. It felt natural and it was also a plus that he’s into digital art and stuff like I was. Just to clarify, I’m not bragging but he was someone who was clearly as experienced as me which is hard to find in a potential partner. (IK and understand that art is subjective but there are skills to it.) I literally feel “icky” talking abt this because this isn’t rlly my character to gush over some dude lmao but my I feel warm talking to him. He’s the first guy I actually willingly gave my number and socials to with the intention of something possibly more in the future.
Now here comes the issue, sometimes I tend to think of the worst just to prep myself for disappointment or try to plan from a logical point view. I try my best to not expect too much from anyone really. It’s been over 2 months that we’ve been talking and we still haven’t been able to meet irl due to our schedules. My friends even joked abt me basically e-dating (we are not dating just talking). I’ve always been known to suck with replies and he said he was the same as well. As both our schedules became more busy due to school projects, he would not respond to me for days. I try to be understanding because sometimes I’m the same but he does it every now and then that I question if he’s actually interested. Each time he responds late, he apologizes and continues the conversation. I’m just tired of sometimes having 3-5 day responses. At least I’m communicative beforehand when I tell him that I’ll be busy so my replies might be lacking. There would be a time where I forgot to respond a day or two but if I were to respond late, it would be 6-8 hours at most.
I decided to be up front and ask what his intentions are when talking to me so I know how to go about moving forward. He said he wants to be something more with me if I’m down but it’s just hard cause of our schedules. He said that he wants to try to meet up this winter if possible. I think on Thanksgiving he was somewhat drunk and gave me a really nice message about how grateful he was to start talking to me.
I consulted with my guy friend and he essentially said “he said he’s down to meet up with you, you just have to give a date and time.” He also mentioned that if we both are trying to get more out of this relationship, we both need to be more assertive. I’m afraid I might sound hella pushy for someone that’s not even in a relationship with him. I’d like to at least get updates on when he’ll be focused on his projects and stuff. My friends have never seen me this way and like the dude so far based on what I was telling them (I swear I didn’t glorify shit, I refuse to be a delulu girlie. Met too many delulu ppl and don’t wanna be in the same boat as them lol). They said it should be fine since the both of us have a mutual understanding of each other schedules.
I’ve never dated before, I just don’t want to seem too pushy or anything. This is the first time I’ve genuinely found an interest in someone in years, so like this is super rare of me. I understand that we are not on that level yet so I put boundaries on myself and not try not to think too much about it or set low expectations while trying to put myself up. How should I go moving forward? I have a toxic trait of just dropping people or not moving forward. The thought of me dating is weird but I can honestly see myself actually dating the dude for some reason.