The title says it all. I (26 F) never get approached, never get asked out. I think I’m pretty nice and friendly. I try to make people around me feel included and appreciated. I also have a lot going for me regarding work and school.
I think it’s my looks. I honestly can’t tell if I’m okay looking or if I’m absolutely disgusting. The way I never get approached or spoken to by men leads me to believe the latter. How can I figure out if it’s my looks? I’ve suffered from low body image and self-esteem for years but it’s feeling worse now. Sometimes I feel like I’m decent looking and I also work out so I think I’m in good shape. It’s probably my face then đ
I’m willing to privately share pics of how I look.
Edit: I am not sending pics to any NSFW accounts/accounts that follow/comment on subs like that
28 comments
Let’s pm and talk about it. I had low self esteem and I have worked on getting over it. Maybe I can help you. So pm me
Nobody is to ugly for dating, but sometimes our standards are misaligned for what we are willing giving to a relationship. I donât know if that made sense or not, but we all have potential partners out there.
Also, sometimes it can be difficult for us to determine when someone is interested. Maybe assess how you are in interactions with those you are interested in. In single atm, so maybe I donât have the best advice, but you are valid and you will find someone
Somewhere there is an am I ugly thread I think
Youâre not ugly, youâre in Canada.. seriously, guys donât want to be seen as creeps or blasted. So most guys now are not approaching or asking out in any public way.
Donât base your self worth on that, or self-esteem on that one aspect.
Dating is just hard all around, and for everyone.
As an unattractive girl that never gets approached and was in the same boat, I can give you some tips. Work on your self-esteem! Noone is too ugly for dating, difference is that you put that thought in your head and, trust me, others can feel it too. One I stoped being so mean towards myself and started paying attention to people I interact with, I noticed that acctually quite a lot guys find me attractive. Even the “10/10s”. So find everyday something beautiful on/about yourself and stop compering yourself to others. And pay attention, sometimes guys need green light to approach. đ
Ok first there is not a thing as to ugly, there is someone out there that will think you are attractive believe me. Now said that yah there are people that might not get approached as much. Looks are not everything and good looks doesnât guarantee you will attract the right person.
If you are not happy with how you look change it! This will sound cliche but if do it, do it for you not for other people.
But if you want someone, do the approaching your self most whatâs the worst it can happen? If wanna talk more or anything feel free to comment here or pm me. But believe me you are fine
Nobody is too ugly for dating. So stop beating on yourself.
But negativity attracts negativity. So if you continue to tell yourself such things and believe such things then that is all you will get.
As a 33[M] who goes to the gym and is not horrible looking I mean Iâm not Brad Pitt or anything but Iâm not ugly and Iâm sure youâre not eitherâŠI never get approached I always have to approach women and itâs not always successful but the key is to keep getting on the horse trust me it can be hard and sometimes I do feel like Iâm not attractive or undesirable but Iâm sure someday Iâll come across the one who will take the time to listen and maybe even give me some of there timeâŠdonât give up hope. Iâm sure youâre not ugly or not worth dating, if youâd like to DM Iâm open to chat always
You look great. Step out of the comfort zone and meet people naturally. Talk to a therapist that really resonates with you.
Happy to tell you honestly what I think of your personal appearance. Won’t sugarcoat, promise – my autism will make sure of that.
Iâd be down to lyk what I think if you wanna pm me
You’re not. You do need to work on your confidence/ self-esteem, tho.
Itâs a matter of time preference if youâre not a shyness
Honestly. I donât think getting approached has anything to do with looks. Maybe I just have too much confidence – but I am an above average looking woman and I almost never get hit on or approached. I am very friendly and outgoing too. A lot of my other female friends who I find are very beautiful also have the same issue. I think in general men are may just be intimidated to go up to women.
I think you need to change your âwhat is wrong with me mindsetâ and stop focusing on your looks and focus more on your relationship with yourself because once you feel confident in who you are – people are more like to approach you anyways because of the way you carry yourself. And if they donât. You donât even care! Or you can approach them yourself.
Donât send random pictures of yourself on reddit to tell you whether or not they think youâre pretty please. Your self worth and value does not depend on a strangerâs ideas of what is beautiful!!!
No one is too ugly đ
I think you need to work on your self confidence and clear out some negative thoughts in your head!
I saw your profile where you mentioned you just moved to Toronto from somewhere that I don’t know
When i moved to Vancouver few years ago, it was hard for me to find some like minded people to get into a circle, and once i successfully did that it was a bit easier to find some girls to date as well who shared similar interests.
I guess these thoughts are just in your head! Clear those out and good luck đ
I can tell you I talk to a female coworker and says she never dates. She is not unattractive, but some flaws. She is nice and friendly.
I told her for me, I just would never date someone overweight. I am surprised people dont get hit on like you, but this is how it is for most guys too. I mean it happens, but not obvious.
I dont date either for my own self destructive reasons.
alright , you should me more confidentt. Show me some pics and iâll tell you what i think
You shouldn’t be worried about your looks if your trying to attract someone. Ppl get too caught up on looks and looks alone. If someone is truly interested in you it should be of honest and good hearted place and other things other than looks. I’m sure you are a beautiful soul and that person will come in due time đ
You have parents right? And you have ancestors right? So basically, you are a descendant of a line of baller women who no-fail. Have found partners good enough so to produce an offspring whoâs consistently done the same. You think youâre ugly? What makes you so special?
Take it from me, thinking that you’re ugly is just in the mind. You mentioned you are friendly and kind to people which men love. They might not be approaching because society has made it look like that for men. Guys getting abused or slapped when they approach girls has made them think that they will have the same experience.
If you feel like a guy is looking at you, all you gotta do is just walk up to him and talk, I am đŻ% sure they will say that they were thinking of approaching you.
Just be yourself and don’t over think about it. I am sure you look pretty. Just have a smile on the face, that’s all it takes to keep the conversation going.
You need to approach them or make yourself stupidly approachable men are super careful theses days and for very good reason.
Not that this matters but Iâm a very attractive – I say this because I donât want anyone to say Iâm biased LOL
It doesnât matter! Seriously, itâs such a misconception that you need to be a 10. Donât let society keep you from living your best life, work on your self esteem, grooming and do things you enjoy to meet new people. It might be shocking to you but less attractive women tend to have better relationships- and you know what, beauty IS truly subjective. There are veryyyy few people who are in fact âuglyâ – most of it really comes down to grooming.
Itâs not my intention ro offend anyone
A personâs beauty and worth doesnât come from what they look like or what they wear etc. It comes from inside. Young people are obsessed with appearances. Itâs a biological fact that looks fade as you get older and if you base everything on looks and not whatâs really important youâll have nothing when youâre older. My advice would be to accept yourself, your looks and what Mother Nature gave you and be happy inside. Work on self confidence, being kind, loving, creative etc. When you love the person you are inside youâll soon find out someone will love you for that and not what you look like.
I have no doubt youâre an amazing person and someone will appreciate it.
This is not necessarily a good question. I always wear headphones when I’m outside and guys say it makes me not approachable. I have this at my workplace as well, if I’m wearing it, my workplace friends are not approaching me. And they already like me as a person. Even though I would be happy to chat, they can approach me, I told them that. They still only talk to me if I don’t wear them. It’s tricky because I can’t live without music.
I can give you some advice if you want to about your looks if you want to đ
There are some abysmal looking people with awful personalities who are dating (often each other) so I have never given up hope. Not that you are those things, but it is an example that none of us are truly ever too ugly or too awful to date.
Thereâs No such thing as too ugly for dating, you will eventually find someone, and those who didnât even consider giving you a chance cuz of looks are shallow minded people, you donât need people like that in ur life Donât let them make you feel as if ur not good enough or below standards Know ur worth đ€
Itâs all about physical fitness. Thereâs not really such thing as someone whoâs âtoo uglyâ. Only too fat
Honestly as a heterosexual male (married, middle-aged with kids), we men tend to respond first to looks but eventually lean into the personality of the woman we interact with. Looks will get your foot in the door but a big part of it is confidence and your personality as cliche as that sounds.
Yeah, of course there will be the occasional douchebag who only focuses on the skin-deep but most men really respond to how you present yourself and your confidence.
I’ll bet that you don’t look unattractive and that it’s your lack of self-confidence that emanates from you that men seem to sense about you.
Maybe boost your self-confidence by getting physically active and leaning hard into it or by dressing in what makes you feel confident – sometimes its the little things that amount to a boost in your mood and outlook that we men latch onto.
I feel like I can relate as I was once very insecure that I was unattractive (I’m not). I leaned hard into conversation and observed how charming people act in social settings and it paid off for me.
Hope this helps.