Excuse the stupid question but I’ve been basing my own ideas of what “social skills” means entirely on my own assumptions and I want to go right to the basics for a second so I know what it actually means.
Can anyone explain what “social skills” specifically means?
How would you know if someone has good or bad social skills?
How would you know if you have good or bad social skills?
2 comments
In my personal understanding, social skills refer to the ability to navigate any situation that involves interaction with another person(s) to a desired outcome*. It includes awareness of the “vibe” and understanding of non-verbal ques.
*The desired outcome does not always have to be super-positive “let’s be friends and hang-out” kind of thing either. Remaining polite and neutral with coworkers, if that’s what you want, is a social skill. Properly advocating yourself to another person, cutting off a relationship that’s doing you no good (and recognizing that it’s doing you no good in the first place) is also a part of a social skillset.
Of course, not everything will always go according to what you want even if you have good social skills – because we do not live in a vacuum. But sufficed to say, that if you generally fumble social interactions, often give people an unfavourable impression of you, are unable to read the room, struggle to form and/or maintain connections, then chances are your social skills could use some work. BTW, all of us have some degree of social skills, it’s not a binary of having or not having. You can be good at one aspect, but need improvement in another – so don’t be discouraged if you recognize some of the things mentioned in yourself.
Alright. For me, social skills has to do with having good conversation by asking questions, looping or parroting, having a good vibe (energy), and maybe throwing back a, “how about you?” in conversations. Now we also need to know what conversation means. And a conversation is simply a verbal exchange of ideas between two or more persons.
Now let’s not forget that there is verbal and non-verbal communication. Ever heard of the 7-38-55 rule? 7% translates into talking, 38% tone of voice, and 55% body language. This is how I would sum up “social skills.” And I’m still learning.