Gentlemen, do you actually care if the house is cleaned & supper being made when you get home everyday? Regardless of if your partner works or not.

43 comments

  1. No, and I don’t expect everyone to jump to their feet to welcome me either. Most likely all I want is a cup of tea and five fucking minutes….

    And a blowjob…
    And a new car…
    And to not have to work the next day…
    And to have enough money in the bank that I don’t have to work the next day…
    And a blowjob…
    And a steak…
    And lobster…
    And a boat…
    And a blowjob…

    But I’ll settle with a cup of tea and five fucking minutes

  2. SO and I have always had FT jobs since we’ve been together (42 years). Never once did I demand dinner on the table, clean house, etc. Depending on work schedules for that day, we figured it out on a mostly day to day basis.

  3. I don’t expect my wife to do that stuff and/or have it done when I get home. We share those duties and they get done when they get done. She does like cooking and baking so those are typically her jobs and I make up the balance by doing most of the cleaning. But hey, I’m a liberal atheist so you should expect the opposite behavior from the boomer bullshit.

  4. If she’s a stay at home wife that doesn’t work and isn’t going to school at all then yeah because what else is she doing? If she works or goes to school full time then the chores should be split in half.

    Though the bathroom is always mine since no one ever cleans it like I want it cleaned.

    Stay at home mother is also a different story if she’s doing things like take the child to the park, teaching them and such.

  5. No. As everything in life costs way more than it used to in the 1950s when this sort of shit was actually doable, my wife and I both work full time jobs and have a 2 year old daughter.

    We keep our house at a certain level of cleanliness but it’s not perfect.

  6. If she didn’t have a job that seems like something close to a reasonable expectation. But the same would go for me if I didn’t have a job.

  7. There’s a difference between “Cleaned” and “there isn’t your shit everywhere”

  8. I like a clean house but is that’s my responsibility too? Also, I do all the cooking in our house, because I love to cook.

  9. If she’s not working I’m not sure what else she would do? That’s not to say I wouldn’t do some of the cooking and cleaning myself but if I’m the only income I’d appreciate some level of support. If she’s working it should be an even split on those tasks

  10. Depends, does she work? Go to school?

    Generally speaking I don’t care. I keep my house clean and I cook. I generally preferred grilled items so I cook in bulk twice a week and stash it in a fridge for quick meals.

    Now my house, is clean. You use a dish, wash it and put it up. I run load of laundry every other day so it doesn’t stack up. Again, put your shit up.

    Adults should be able to take care of themselves. If my gf does something I appreciate her for it. But it’s not necessary.

  11. No. We live in our house. It’s not a show piece. That said, don’t sit on your ass 3 days in a row..

  12. Not at all. As long as she’s not a slob, IDGAF. It’s every occupant’s job to help keep the place clean.

    edit: unless she just stays home and does nothing. But that in itself would be annoying.

  13. When my wife was a stay at home wife, yes. It wasn’t about women’s work or men’s work, it was just that we both contributed to the household. When my wife was a stay at home mom, less so. Then taking care of the kids while I was gone was her primary contribution to the household. Now that we both work, no. We split the cleaning and cooking pretty evenly. Although I probably do a bit more of the cooking and she probably does a bit more of the cleaning.

    I will note though, even when she was a stay at home wife, I still did some of the cooking and cleaning, she just did the vast majority of it.

  14. Well my wife works so it makes sense to split duties at home. It would be unfair of me to expect her to put in more domestic labor than me because she has a vagina.

    I get home like 30 mins earlier than she does plus I love to cook and am much better so I usually cook and she usually cleans. Everything else we split based on preference. It works for us because we tend to do our chores at the same time usually so if she is done in the bathroom she might come out to help me doing whatever I’m doing and vice versa.

  15. Nope. Took care of all that myself until I was 37 and met my wife. We’ve split the duties ver since since both of us have professional careers.

  16. Regardless? No. That’s not how this works.

    If you both work, the housework should be 50/50. If one of you doesn’t work, your job becomes keeping the house up. That’s a fair relationship.

    If you have kids and a stay at home parent, then things change a bit as raising a child and chores are too much for one person, but otherwise it should be common sense.

  17. A working partner. No.
    A non working partner i can see it.
    My house is small and i keep it clean now. I fix my own dinners. Its not a hard task.
    Noone just gets to lay around and do nothing all day everyday.

  18. > Regardless of if your partner works or not.

    I would say it is contingent on this. My wife and I both have careers, so whoever is home usually makes dinner, we both try to pick up after ourselves and the kids, and we hire a cleaner once a month for the deep clean stuff.

    I wouldn’t tolerate someone who didn’t work (or go to school with a career being the final goal), and also didn’t take care of the house or kids. That isn’t a partner, it’s a parasite.

  22. If she doesn’t work, yes. What else is she even doign all day? It totally depends if she works, why would you exclude that condition?

  23. My wife is a stay at home mom. I’ll work anywhere between 40 and 80 hours a week depending on what’s happening at the shop. Some days I’ll come home and just get started on dinner. Some days I’ll just start washing dishes. Some days I’ll wrestle around with the kids. And other days I go full potato and just collapse onto the couch.

    Mostly I care about cleanliness of the house and dinner when I am stressed out and overwhelmed with other things. I’m remarkably inconsistent. But by and large, no, I don’t care.

    We both do what we can as we are able. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you are the constant daily shepherd of tiny humans. I know I am drained on the days I watch the kids when my wife has appointments or spends a day out. I couldn’t imagine doing it all day every day, that takes a special someone.

    Before we had kids I was a bit more outspoken about responsibilities, but nowadays it’s water under the bridge. Living with demented little reflections of yourself is hard.

  24. I do not expect my partner to clean my house or make my dinner. Never have.

  25. I think a hot meal and a clean home are both nice things, but I’m not really of the opinion that it’s just one or the other partner’s job. We clean together, we cook together, or we take turns. It seems like a fairly logical system to me at least.

  27. Fuck yeah. I love having the house cleaned and dinner ready. So does she. That’s why we clean the house and make dinner.

  28. How about just don’t make a mess.

    Me and my wife doesn’t have this rule of the house should be clean. I work and my
    Wife is stay at home mom. We always clean up after ourself.

    I did laundry, we fold together. Child make mess, we clean together. Bathroom is split, I get toilet, she does sink.

    No mess because we just clean together and after ourselves. While she cooking I’m washing dishes.

  29. My wife is retired and I still run a business about 55 hours a week, so she cooks. It’s not a rule, it just works out. We pretty much clean our own messes, and have a housecleaning once a week. If I have a day off. I work on maintenence projects.

    As far as caring. I absolutely care. I love a clean house. But I’ll do what I can to make it that way.

  30. I work fewer hours and make a bit less than my wife so I do the bulk of the cooking and cleaning.

  31. Absolutely not. I never complain. If she’s busy, she’s busy. I can help out too, and I do.

  32. I’m not going to be pulling in the big bucks, so no. I think cleaning the house and making food should be cooperative and not onesided

  33. My husband works 5 days full time and I work 30 hours including weekends so I keep house and do most of the cooking. The kids are grown up and have their own homes. My husband does it all at weekend when I’m working. We’re both happy with it.

  34. There isn’t really a blanket response to this. It ultimately depends on what you and your partner agree to. Some guys here say yes , and some say no while others specify certain parameters.

  35. Partner is depressed and has stopped working…I expect very little…hope some effort gets made to make our lives better while I’m at work. It’s easy to look lazy when you have crippling depression…but also I don’t know that it is sustainable or fair to have 1 person pulling the load and responsibility for the household.

  36. I can’t stand a messy house. It messes with my anxiety. I’m the one who does the cleaning. Her dorm room should have been red flag 20 years ago. I would be perfectly happy if she manages to clean up after herself.

    Cooking, I do my own cooking.

  37. Bro, my girl works longer hours than me. I AM the one making sure dinner is ready and the house is at least passable for when SHE gets home. It’s the least I can do to show that I care about her.

  38. If she works no its a partnership and i help clean as well.

    If she is a stay at home mom though no excuse(assuming not disabled or something) to not have it clean, which if done daily is not hard to upkeep

  39. My wife is accountant and Im a businessman, she prepares dinner and cleans the house, I do the laundry and the dishes and take out the trash. I believe that as long there’s an understanding and communication everything works out.

  40. You assume i’m a gentle-man, so i’m obliged to say oh yes dear… and proceed to close the overfilled with junk closet

  41. I have 2 young children one is on the spectrum. The only thing that bugs me is dishes in the sink. Otherwise i dont give a shit how the house is. I was forced to clean a 3900 sq ft house as a kid and hated it. So i dont expect my wife whos taking care of my kids to have dinner ready or an immaculate house…its never bad but its obvious i have kids lol.

  42. If one partner works and the other says home, then the one who stays home runs the house, the one who works makes the money.

    The money they earn isn’t theirs, it’s the families. The one who stays home cleans the house, does the shopping, cooks the meals. Their contributions are just different. On the weekend, it’s shared as it’s both their time off – but the house should be cleaned during the week.

    This is the same whether it’s the guy or the girl staying home

  43. No. As long as there’s a decent sharing of the load at home. I love to cook, my wife doesn’t. Cool. But I think she’s still a decent cook and not having to do it ALL of the time would be nice. Especially with me being the only one working. Same things apply to house cleaning, laundry, and yardwork. It’s a simple time function.

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