Hes a nurse so he does work long shifts but… he checked out it seems. It’s like… do you want to go for a walk with me and the baby? No. Do you want to go with us for Santa’s pic? No. Do you want to sleep with us? No. He says he’s too fatigued to go for a walk with us but then at night he wanted to go to a bar for a work party. When he said he was going I was in completely silence and he ended up not going but how come for a walk around the neighborhood you’re so tired and then in the same evening you’re ready to go up in the city and be up late drinking? Honestly it feels so shitty, but I try to remember I’m not missing anything with baby… he is.
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Do all those activities with just you and the baby, happy, smiling. Print them throughout the year, frame them, put them on a wall. On another wall put a picture of him all alone.
What does he say when you brought up your feelings about this?
Is he depressed?
Was this a planned baby? Have you ever asked him directly about this issue?
I dont get the do you want to sleep with us question, so you sleep eith the baby and he sleeps separately?
Long hrs are not fun along with stress that his job gives…I’d say that is a main factor.
Communication heart to heart talk looks like it is needed. There are so many factors that could be at play…
Is it possible he is experiencing postpartum depression? Men get PPD too, and he may be going through it and no one realizes it as it is not very well talked about for men. There are resources online that could provide insight on this if you want to check that out.
How old is your baby? Lack of sleep, finances, diapers, bottles/pumping, etc. can be overwhelming. Having a child is HUGE and he could by struggling with the huge life adjustment. It doesn’t make it ok that he is checked out at home, but talk to him with grace and concern.
Was this a planned/wanted baby? An “oops” pregnancy? Something you pressured him into?
Are you still treating your husband like a spouse and romantic partner since you gave birth? It’s way too common for women to start treating their husbands as if they were totally unimportant after they have a kid.