I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 6 years now. To summarize my relationship with his family, it is overall okay. They’re very different from me culturally and his parents constantly try to push us to get married ever since we started dating – but overall I’m good with them. His sister has been very mean to me ever since I met her (making very passive aggressive comments constantly and talking down to me – but I’ll spare the details for the sake of this post). Over the last few years, my boyfriend and I have fallen into a pattern of getting into many petty fights and misunderstandings that we definitely need to work out. I have a problem with always getting frustrated with him for doing immature or careless things and am aware of the things that I need to work on. I need to learn to pick my battles because sometimes the things I get upset about are really small or unimportant. He, on the other hand, usually builds up his frustrations and explodes after a while.
Whenever we go to his family’s house it’s very difficult for me due to having to see his sister and act all formal with his parents (they’re very religious too). This time, we went on a 5-day trip to be with them. I did not make it easy for him throughout the week, I will admit, and on the first night that we were there I made a few too many comments on things that frustrated me (ex: his mom bringing up us getting married tactlessly again and him not even paying attention and leaving me to deal with it, things like that) – and he exploded. He said he’s breaking up with me along with very mean comments while I had a 3 hour breakdown.he put me through hell and I begged for his forgiveness to no avail. He clearly did not actually want to break up and was trying to make a point – I get that I was not right to get frustrated so easily but the way he went about this was unacceptable in my eyes.
Thing is, I begged him multiple times to not air our dirty laundry in front of his family for the sake of the trip, that I was very sorry, and if we could please be a team in front of them. He wouldn’t let that happen though. I continued to tell him that I was genuinely sorry about 100 times and he still felt that he needed to put me through the wringer. It felt heartless. The whole next 2 days of the trip, he made the entire trip uncomfortable, visibly angry with my in front of his family. I ended up sitting in the room for a majority of the next day. His parents were very angry with us because of this and sat us down for a talk. I feel so betrayed that he let it get to this point and couldn’t act okay with me for the sake of not embarrassing me in front of his family. The last thing I needed was for his parents to meddle as a result. We’re back from the trip now but it was truly an embarrassment for me and unacceptable. I don’t know how to move on from this or forgive what he did.
Would this be something that you guys would accept to happen in a relationship and for it to be something you move on from?
tl;dr my boyfriend and I fought during a visit at his family’s and he made it very obvious to them and made the trip very uncomfortable. I’m embarrassed and don’t know how to get past it