I, 21M straight, have always struggled to find a date. I constantly see women as a potential mate, nothing else. I see them as either someone i can potentially get with or not. I know cognitively this is an unhealthy mindset as well but for some reason it’s so ingrained into my psyche. I’ve never even been in what I would consider a romantic relationship, which has really hurt my self esteem. I’ve been psychiatrically hospitalized multiple times for my unhealthy obsession with this. I want to change my mindset on women, not just to get a date, as many relationships start as friendly encounters, but to also have a healthier social life. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this either but I still decided to.
I do not feel as though I am unattractive, physically at least, and from my time in rehabs and psych wards I’ve been easily able to socialize with women, which I know is probably not an accurate representation of social life outside but still.
I guess what I’m asking for are tips actually approaching women, getting to know them, and then breaking the ice with a relationship as well as any tips to correct my cognitive errors of my thinking pattern towards women.
I have ASD and BPD, not a good combo as I constantly crave attention but struggle to socialize.
I know this is a lot to unpack too but thanks for even reading this whoever you are.