This is a throwaway account. I’m here to seek support.
I (F26) moved to another country and my first year has been a rollercoaster. The biggest rollercoaster has been my bulimia… it has financially messed me up, and my health too. I’ve gained weight so I don’t feel good about myself.
In the time that I’ve been here, I met someone (M30) amazing and I love him more than anyone. We’ve been together for 1 year. But lately I’ve been hiding my bulimia from him… I’m scared, ashamed, and terrified. I just want to seem normal and… perfect.
I kept my bulimia to myself thinking I could recover alone… but over the course of the year it’s been getting worse and my health is taking its toll.
I’m thinking of telling him that my bulimia has gotten worse. He is all I have, after all. I have no friends or family here. He’s been very supportive and understanding about my other mental health struggles… but yeah… this one… the bulimia… it’s the greatest shame that I have and it makes me feel paranoid and guilty. I don’t want him to feel disgusted by me…. or frown upon my lack of self control and financial management…. I hate bulimia. I hate it, hate it, hate it. What do I do?
TL;DR: my bulimia is worse than ever, I want to tell my boyfriend but I’m scared. What do I do?