Hi all,
I’m(F29) trying to get some perspective and non biased opinions about my little sister(F25). To start, my little sister and I had a rough childhood. Our parents abused drugs, neglected us, and emotionally abused us. There was a lot of domestic violence and scary situations. We both have suffered from a lot of trauma and have both been diagnosed with C/PTSD, depression, and anxiety because of it. We are really close because of this and have always been.
She was in a really abusive relationship in her late teens to early adulthood. I stood by her during those years, even putting myself in danger to try and help her. She finally left him a few years ago. She has a new boyfriend now who treats her right and they are very happy. Since she started dating this guy, though, she has been really flaky, cold, and distant with me. She apologizes when it takes weeks to get back to me, and it honestly really hurts. I don’t think it has anything to do with him, though.
She says she is really depressed, which is why she doesn’t get back to me. I completely understand depression and not being able to do much at all, yet i feel like she really just doesn’t care about what’s going on in my life. She rarely ever checks in to see how I am or even asks about her nieces. She doesn’t listen to what’s going on in my life. I try to make conversations about what she is doing in her life, and she rarely responds or answers my questions. She constantly posts on Instagram, so I know she isn’t hiding in her room.
I’m moving back to my hometown, where she still lives soon. She recently told me quote “Hey, I’m sorry. A lot has been going on. It will be easier for me to keep in contact when you are home. I’m sorry it’s hard for me to keep all my relationships in order.” She isn’t working or going to school, so she isn’t busy doing much at all, so she is basically lying to me. Why does it matter if I’m in the same state or not to maintain a relationship?
I understand how hard it is to reach out to people when you’re depressed, yet I feel like she has made it a crutch. I have been depressed so many times before, but I never ignored my sister ever. Recently, I went back to visit, and she barely made an effort to spend more than a day or two with me and her niece when we hadn’t seen each other for over a year. She just kept saying she had dinner plans with her boyfriend and rushed off every time we finally got together.
Should I just let it to? Sometimes, I want to address it, but I just feel like I shouldn’t waste my energy. If she really wants a relationship with me, she will make the effort. Right? Am I being too sensitive? Should I forgive her because she’s just depressed?
tl;dr: my sister has been blowing me off and blames it on depression but I think she just doesn’t care about me. Tell me I’m wrong.