I(f30 American) had been living in a country in Asia for 6 years after I decided it was time to move on. In April I had a dating app and saw he (M31 English) like a photo of mine and even though I only had a month left figured oh why not have one last date here, he looks cute. Well, it was the best first date I ever had. I only had 3 weeks left in the country and he was on holiday for 2 of those weeks but we texted everyday.
When he returned we had our final date where things actually got romantic.
He had been living in the same country as me for 4 years we had friends in common, even attended the same parties but never met. He said he recalls seeing me once at a party but he had a girlfriend at the time. He wondered out loud how different our lives would have been if we had met years ago.
I never met a person that I connected with on so many weird levels, our conversation flows so easily with absolutely no effort and our humor is the same. We have similar interests (but different ones as well) and want the same things out of life (digital nomads, traveling the world, no kids).
I cursed the timing. How is it possible to have met the most wonderful person right before I left. We messaged each other about our mutual infatuation, wondering if it was just because we can’t have each other that increased our desire for one another. We are both self admitted commitaphobes and are trying to be honest with each other about our feelings. Do we feel so strongly towards each other because it seems impossible, or is it more?
We have messaged each other nearly every day since our first date in April, it’s just a never ending conversation. It gets deep, it gets silly, it gets sexy and it’s what I look forward to every day. He said getting my messages makes him feel like 1,000,000 bucks.
I have tried dating other people, so has he, but I can’t get him out of my head. He said something similar.
I am living in Europe now and he went back to the UK for the holidays. We sort of talked around the idea of seeing each other, but at the encouragement of my mother and best friend I formally invited him to come visit me… and he bought his tickets!!!!
It’s only for 4 days but oh my god, I am so excited. I am also so nervous. But I think it will be good for us either way. We are both aware we will be on “vacation” mode so it’s not a fair assessment of cohabitation but since we’ve basically only spent 10 hours together in person it will be interesting to see how we get a long in each other’s space for four days. If it works out, we may have to make some big choices, and if it doesn’t, we will at least be able to let each other go and move on.
I am just worried that the vacation/holiday mode will warp everything and it will be hard to tell what is real and not real and I need any kind of advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation?
TL;DR! I met a guy 8 months ago twice but we have talked every day since then, now he’s coming to visit me and I’m so scared and nervous that it’s just infatuation or wanting what we can’t have and need advice on how to handle this