Went on a date with a guy who:
– talked until his food was cold, and I could not get a word in because he didn’t take a breath.
– he “wrote off” several cars over his lifetime (in his 30s).
– is an RN, drives a car that is falling apart, and lives at home. Where is his $ going? (Car insurance?)
– did not appear to listen or really care when I spoke.
– said the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way” when I pointed out something I felt he may be struggling with.
– compares himself to other people and what they have / what he doesn’t.
– worries someone is upset with him if they don’t reply to his messages.
The list goes on and on. Many red flags. Help!!!!
6 comments
Doesn’t matter what he is, your not a therapist. But you clearly did not enjoy him or his company so why continue seeing him
You don’t need a list for this guy and to wonder if he’s a narcissist. Drop contact and move on.
I don’t know if he’s a narcissist but you clearly don’t enjoy spending time with him, just move on.
Narcissist? I don’t know, I don’t have the training to determine that.
Emotionally immature? Check.
Self-centred? Check
Shallow and materialistic? Check
If I were single and went on a date with a woman like that, there wouldn’t be a second date.
Just saying…
Whether or not he’s a classified narcissist, shouldn’t matter as he clearly isn’t worth another date?
It completely depends, everyone has narcissistic traits in higher or lower levels.
He comes accross as insecure to me, which is not a good thing.
The guy im dating currently kept talking none stop and not really considering that I should get a word in. That being said when I pointed it out a few phonecalls later he changed. ;Me and him now speak an equal amount of time (and he has always and still asks me how I am daily so fort).
Being too obsessed with showing off what he has of objects or education/status is indeed a bad sign. It shows vanity and a low sense of self (due to having to impress others with everything one has accomplished or is accomplishing). It’s completely different if it comes in natural conversation or when asked compared to just saying it out of nowhere to brag. OR if it comes from a want to protect/provide for you, it all depends on context.
What you describe is typical traits of someone who was deprived attention as a child and is now trying to make up for it. It does NOT mean he will become abusive later or treat you badly. If he is a good man he will try to understand the issues you’re having and work on it. The statement “im sorry you feel that way” doesn’t offer to change it. But did you tell him in a calm kind way that this is the problem you’re having? If not i’d suggest doing so. I told the guy I’m dating that if he doesn’t fix “example issue” I don’t see this working out long term (which is what we both want). He then took the steps to fix it and he has been doing well since.
It all depends on how much self respect you have, and holding the bounderies you set (and him knowing that without if having to be said directly, that you will leave if he doesnt).