Having a hard time getting invested in dating again

I’m a 28M who for the past 4 years I just can’t find the same excitement or enjoyment out of dating.

When I was younger I used to fall for girls very fast and get super interested in building relationships. I was always so intrigued to learn more about them, go on dates and trips, and doing things for them. My friends had always joked with me I was the type of guy to always be in a relationship, which to some degree was true.

My most recent relationship, I was with a girl for 3 years. The relationship was pretty toxic from the start, but I had ignored many of the red flags I saw early on which eventually led to me being in a seriously depressed state. She was verbally abusive and tore me down, and I wasn’t able to really recognize where the root of my depression had came from until the end of the relationship. Her and I split about 4 years ago.

I’ve gone through waves of dating on and off over the past few years, but I never really care to make it past date 3 or 4 with any of the girls. My motivation to continue talking with / hanging out with them tends to really fall off at this point. I can’t figure out if I just have a massive wall up, if I’m more picky now as I’ve gotten older, or if I’m just seeing any sort of red flags and running based on my past relationship..

Not really sure what I’m looking to get out of this post, but I don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable with to talk to IRL about this. Any stories or similar experiences of how people have worked through similar circumstances would be cool to read through.

Thank you