I (34F) met a man (36F) a couple of months ago through a hookup app, and he’s only the second guy I’ve ever been with sexually. We’re really in sync in bed and both mentally/emotionally fucked up though we haven’t shared details yet. Honestly didn’t think he’d be anything other than a one-night stand but we keep connecting and by the fourth time I started to care about him and told him I can’t meet up mindlessly anymore. He said he’s been thinking about the same thing for a while but didn’t want to ruin a good thing.
So we’re going to try being more – whatever that means – and actually hang out. But now that we’re at this point, I’m honestly frozen. It’s been years since I’ve actually cared about someone – and we’re kind of going backwards so I’m incredibly lost.
My main concern is his mental health. I have a feeling his heart has been broken big time maybe more than once. He works out a lot and listens to some depressing music. He texted me once about having a bad mental health day so he’s willing to be open about it. I don’t know if this is really going to be anything more, but what are some things I can do to be there for him/help him regain some happiness without being clingy or too much? I text him good morning sometimes if he doesn’t, or that I hope he has a good day, or ask about his job. I’ll send him what I think are funny or racy memes about sex but only twice so far. He lives about an hour away so obviously for now I’m stuck to mostly texting.
I’m terrified I’ll scare him away if I’m too caring though. Like I’m going to take it slow and hold off on what I naturally want to do, which is ask for more cuddles, send cute memes about being with him, baking and buying things for him, and try to be with him once a week instead of once every other week. Unfortunately, I’m doomed to be a hopeless romantic and I know it’s the problem that might end things before they even begin.