I guess lost hope is in understatement because I feel like I’ve been miserable for years. I completely blame myself because I’ve let so much go in our 13 year marriage that i definitely should not have turned a blind eye to. Now it just feels like i dug myself into a hole i can’t get out of becausei’ve been letting things go for far too long.
This past 2 years have been one hit after another. Mostly with my husband losing 3 jobs within to time frame. He’s currently unemployed and recently got a job offer. Today he went to orientation and before he left he was being flirty. I did really respond to it because he needed to go and he was just getting over an illness so we really couldn’t do anything. Anyway, while at his orientation he texted me he was he was going over sexual harassment and then asked me if we had sugar for a recipe for Christmas. I told him yes we have sugar. He then said something flirty about being his sugar. I remember him saying he was going over sexual harassment in his orientation and I teased him saying that sexual harassment. He said it can’t be because we’re married. And I said married person and sexually harass their spouse. He then texted me that was the second time I rejected him today and he’s going to finish his class. When I got home he barely talked to me. Was bent out if shape and was yelling at the kids for being kids. I told him I was taking the kids for a ride and left. When I got home he still wouldn’t say a word to me.
Honestly I can’t take it anymore. I say something and I don’t mean it in a mean or harsh way but he takes it that way and makes the whole house on edge with his attitude. When he got home I as him what he wanted for lunch and he said it didn’t matter and walked off. I literally say in my car for 30 mins trying to figure out what I should get because if I came back with the wrong thing he would just be more mad and I wouldn’t k own why because he said what I got didn’t matter! I’m at my wits end. I’m tired of being afraid to say anything to him because it will turn into a big mess because he just goes straight to losing hus temper. He’s never been physical but there is definitely some emotional damage.