is appearance & money everything? Because honestly im starting to think that appearance is kinda everything, does people who want to know your personality before judging your look really exists because I haven’t seen any..

8 comments

  1. Appearance is usually what attracts you to someone, the rest falls into place.

  2. It is. I’ve been rejected numerous times now and it’s down to my unnatractive face and underdeveloped skull.

    Get good genetics first and it’ll be easier.

  3. I mean of course appearance is important. For some people it’s more important than others. But you’re never gonna see an extremely hot guy date an extremely unattractive women…and vice versa. We tend to date within our ‘league’ for lack of better words. And yeah there’s things you can do to ‘date up a league’, like having a good job helps. Being independent. Being in shape. Being able to hold a convo. Things like that. Things that are mostly in your control to some degree. So I’m not sure if that answers your question. But regardless, there’s always a person out there for you. If you put in the time and effort, you’ll find that person I’m sure

  4. My ex had a skullet, unmaintained beard, and was unemployed when we met.

    I loved him so much and thought he was the hottest man to walk the earth.

    It’s totally subjective.

  5. I wouldn’t say money isn’t everything, but appearance does seem to be important.

    I don’t make a lot of money, and I’m pretty sure every woman I’ve dated in the last decade have made more money than me. Haha.

    I’m not a 10 nor a 9, 8, 7. I might be a 6 depending on the woman. I am clean, trimmed, funny, and am not shy when it comes to my interests. I am unapologetically nerdy.

  6. Considering the first thing we see on OLD is a pic, looks are a big factor. We judge people in seconds and sometimes it’s based on pics. It can be a tad shallow but that’s how it is.

    As far as money is concerned, say you’re wealthy and the likes and messages may improve.

  7. **Nope.** **They’re both factors but everyone weighs them differently.**

    I’ll speak mostly to my experience around money since that’s a more obvious thing you can absolutely know. How much looks play a factor has always felt more ambiguous and fluid to me.

    When I was making <$35k a year (not a lot in Vancouver) at 22 and dressing like shit, and more overweight than now, I was still getting plenty of dates. The only time money was ever a factor back then was maybe going to fancier restaurants or buying nicer clothes/gifts, but ***the women I dated didn’t really care about that it was kind of an internalized issue***.

    Since about 27 I’ve just put more effort into my wardrobe and making sure everything fits the way it should and highlights my stronger features. That went a long way, ***having disposable income helped here for sure.***

    One relationship I had in my late-20’s suffered because of my spending, not my income, because ***I didn’t prioritize saving for the same things she did*** (travel mostly) so she felt limited by what I could afford.

    At my lowest point since that point I was just going on lots of first dates and no one seemed to like me back, but I also realized ***I’d let my standards slide and had literally nothing in common with the women I was dating***. It had nothing to do with appearance or the money at my disposal.

    I briefly dated a woman LDR who was 24 last winter and she was working part-time. This was actually more uncomfortable for her. She’d often claim I was throwing my money in her face (bought shoes and wanted her to see) or showing off in front of her friends (bought us all dinner for her birthday). ***So in that case I guess I made too much money.***

    I’m with a lawyer now (32) and we both make great money but we’d be together regardless because ***we spend our money similarly and appreciate doing the same things together***.

    The only thing I’ve missed out on maybe is dating extremely shallow or wealth-obsessed women which is fine by me. There was a time I wished I could have a shot with people like that but it’s long passed and I’m glad I never made that my goal.

    Ideally, the person you date will have similar priorities and you’re both responsible with your money (no extreme debt, track spending) and your appearances (flattering clothing, good hygiene).

  8. They’re both significant in their own way to each person. Life is all perspective, your perspective is going to be different than someone else’s. Everyone wants an attractive partner; not even ugly people want other ugly people BUT there will be someone who thinks of you as handsome as long as you don’t let it get you down. I met my girlfriend on Hinge, I’m not a good looking guy at all despite being in the best shape of my life I cannot change my face. She thought I was very handsome and I even joked saying so I’m taking you to the optometrist for our first date made her laugh and she’s been stuck to me ever since. Money is also very important for obvious reasons- starting a family, buying a house, lifestyle compatibility, retirement plan. All this should not stop you from dating though; just be the person YOU want to be.

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