So for context my ex and I have been split up for nearly 2 years now. We split up because of distance reasons,losing the spark and connection and lack of intimacy but all in all it was a decent relationship just not meant to be. He dated someone for 6 months and they ended it this August. We reconnected in November and I was already hesitant speaking to him giving he has only been single for 4 months but as stupid as it sounds we became closer in these last few weeks by speaking everyday and spontaneously decided to book a trip to Paris together for mid February.
However for the past few days I’ve been consistently receiving mixed signals from him and although he seemed he was actively trying to pursue me, when I asked him yesterday whats going on with us he said we were ‘platonic’ despite constant flirting with me and insinuating wanting to get back together etc. He is very close with his ‘girl best friend’ and they have late night phone calls, they plan holidays together etc but havent kissed or anything like that. We had a discussion about this yesterday as he feels as a ‘free single man’ he can do as he pleases and isn’t crossing any boundaries and what he does in his friendship shouldnt be anyones ‘business or concerns’ I just don’t like uncertainty,confusion or anything like that and my gut feeling is telling me to just stop speaking to him.
Although he hasn’t technically done anything ‘wrong’ I just feel so guarded for some reason and have my walls up, I feel I cant be vulnerable with him and I have one foot in the door and one foot out incase something goes wrong or he just decides to stop speaking to me out of the blue one day. I myself dont even know what exactly i want from him and cant even see myself getting in a relationship with him again at this moment in time so i guess I’m confused aswell. However we’ve both paid for the flight tickets and they’re non-refundable. We each paid £129 ($164) should I still go on this trip and see how it goes even though I’m not feeling it or should I just take the L and lose the money.
Tl;Dr dont know if I should go on this trip with my ex