I (26F) need advice about the guy (M24) i’m dating because otherwise I might do stupid things.
So we started talking end of November. After a week of full days of conversations we started video calling every day, anywhere from 1-4 hours (as he lives in the neighboring country).
We noticed we shared a LOT of interests and enjoyed talking to one another. Then we met in person, at his house. And ehh.. well the chemistry also seemed on point so we did do some stuff. (I tried to take it slow but oh well). Moving on, I really felt a connection with this guy and I think he does too. Well actually after our first intense in person date, he was the one asking the “what are we”. So basically he made me his girlfriend and even wanted me to have one of his bracelets that you actually can’t take off.
Then we still called everyday, met two more times in my country for some short hours and finally two days ago I slept over at his place.
I can’t helpt but feel attached now. And even if I’m working on it, after being with my last situationship one year ago I developed an anxious attachment and avoidant attachment style after the crazy month I experienced with that situationship which was a whirlwind romance. I tried to date others after him but my avoidant attachment kicked in and I could not feel the same about those guys.
Now I feel like I have fallen for this guy. Two days ago I slept over and as luck would have it I was on my first day of my period. Let’s just say I left it messy, and I can’t help but feel, with how fast this has gone, he might ghost or move on to someone else. I tend to self sabotage and today his way of texting was different. I called him near dinner time and we did have a brief good conversation, however it was short as he had an appointment at the dentist. We were going to call later like usual, but then he told me he is tired and is going to sleep. He did have his wisdom teeth removed. But I still can’t help but feel anxious. About 10 days ago, already after he made me his girlfriend, we were calling and he was screen sharing to show me some videos out of his album. Then he wanted to show me how one past conversation went on the dating app we met on. I asked him why he still had the app since he himself wanted me to be his girlfriend AND reaffirm it to him when he randomly called me up when he was anxious about it. While screen sharing he deleted his account.
Then, some days before our last date, he called me and said he needed to tell me the truth. He basically lied about his religion while meeting me on an app to specifically meet people from the same religion.
I shall list some of the red flags which made me think he is lovebombing me;
– Made me his girlfriend the first time he saw me (3 weeks of talking).
– Said I love you within three weeks
– Compliments me a lot
Then again, he does make an effort to call me, send me goodmorning messages, remembers my interests..
Am I overthinking this? Truthfully I really really like him. I feel like I need more reassurance from him that he isn’t speaking to others. Yet I don’t want to be too insecure or clingy. Has anyone experienced the same or perhaps a guy’s perspective whether he seems genuine? I’m almost about to ask why his Goodnight message doesn’t even include a heart like usual and that I feel something is different… pff I feel so stupid atm🥲