(25m) so a few months back i used to work at the airport, everbody was around my age so it was really fun. i had a huge crush on this girl i worked with and she had also just broken up with her boyfriend around this time. when she would come in she would sit right next to me and we would all talk. it was nice. but i was just too indecisive, part of me wanted to be with her. but the other side of me just completely self sabotaged myself because i somehow tricked my brain into thinking i would be disappointed and i wouldnt talk to her. when other people were around i would be afraid because i feared they would laugh at what im saying (long time ago my big brother laughed at me and humiliated me when i was talking to his girlfriends little sister which was around my age) and i never forgot it. and it sucks because i feel like she really made herself available to me and seen how i was acting and then went from sitting right next to me to the other side of the room. and ive been regretting it ever since. my manager described it best he said “i seen you had it and then lost it.”