My boyfriend has anxiety and ADHD. He takes medication for both. He was only diagnosed with ADHD within the last few years.
Due to (what I assume) his ADHD he has always been a bit forgetful and his attention wanders off but lately it has been so severe. I will ask him a question and he will respond with something completely different eg. Me: Did you feed the dog? Him: yeah that show is pretty good. Things like that. Lately I can barely have a convo with him because he can’t make sense of what I’m saying. We went out to eat the other day and he ordered his food but it was like he couldn’t understand the options the waiter was providing him and then he got really anxious and jittery saying that the waiter was a fucking idiot. He was explained something the other day in store while I was looking at something else and he couldn’t remember what he was told to repeat to me. He asked me what medication he takes and when. There’s so many different examples.
He has started to tell me I gaslight him and I’m abusive because I will tell him things that he has done that he has no recollection of. I’ll ask him why he hasn’t taken the bins out and he will say he did. I will see the bins are inside and ask him why he said he did and he will say we never had that conversation. He told me he is struggling at work because he is always forgetting what he is doing while doing it.
He will drive through red lights or not slow down on the road when cars stop because he doesn’t see them.
He broke down last night and told me he was terrified and when I asked him why he was terrified the next second he said I don’t remember saying that what do you mean.
He has also started making really hurtful and mean comments on different occasions. He barged in and accused me of cheating on him, he told me I’m hiding money from him, he said he does all the housework (he doesn’t do a thing AT ALL), he told me I’m delusional and he told me I have something seriously wrong with me. He was never like this and we’ve been together for 5 years. We have been fighting every day.
He has socially withdrawn himself. He doesn’t see his friends. He only goes to work and comes home to sit on the couch to watch TV or game. We don’t do anything fun and he always says no to any of my suggestions. This has made me withdraw from any intimacy.
I feel on edge and worried that his behaviour has become so strange and weird. He has never been physical with me but I have started to worry.
I have encouraged him multiple times to see the doctor or psychiatrist and he doesn’t go. I have told him how concerning these behaviours are in a gentle way many times but he says I’m attacking him.
What do I do to help him? I feel like I need to leave him.
TLDR; my boyfriend has starting showing strange and different behaviour and I’m worried there is something going on with his mental health. He is refusing help but I’m really concerned. What do I do?