Hey everybody, everytime my gf and I travel anywhere and experience something nice together I always get hit by a wave of anxiety and emotional pain immediately afterwards.
We have been together for nearly a year and a half and I fell hard for her right at the start, we got on great and had two great dates together. she suffered a major medical issue during the first month and during that time I just wanted to be there for her and support her. After that we went on more dates and trips together and she moved in to where I was living after about 4 months
Unfortunately during the first 7 months even as we grew closer I felt a cold distance at times and during that time I learned that she still missed her ex. Some hard moments where when she had an emotional reaction seeing him once when we where out together, there also was times when she would go distant with me when we were out in public. One hard moment, was just after she moved I walked in to see her on a site that had an article about getting back with your ex. After she saw how hurt I was she still continued to stalk his Instagram for a time after.
Some other hurtful moments for me included her going on a date with a guy after she came out of hospital. And also meeting up in secret with another guy she knew from Tinder the day after she moved in, although she did state that this person was told they would be only friends.
I also learned that she told her male friends that she didn’t feel like we had the same spark as her ex when we first met and she would talk badly about my grammar to them.
There has also been moments when we were in a social setting and I felt like I was the last person she wanted to be there with during that time.
We talked and worked on those issues and we want to make it work but I’m finding it hard to be in the moment and safe with her at times now and I would love to know has anybody been through this too and what advice would you have?
TL;DR: There was some hurtful moments in the first 7 months of our relationship and I’m finding it hard to to feel safe