My boyfriend (39) and I (31) have a lot of time we’ve invested in our relationship. I have a 12 year old son he has helped me raise, he has always played a very active role. In the first few years I believe he was creating on me and was caught talking to other women, he stayed out late, we lived together but he had an apartment he would work out of.
Two years ago I broke up with him because he hasn’t asked me to marry him yet, he wasn’t treating me properly, he disrespected me. We were broken up for about 7 months no contact.
I ran into him in public after 6 months N/C and he begged me to sit down and talk to him.
I agreed to get back together if he help out more around the house, help pay more bills, get rid of the other apartment. I asked him to stop commenting on other women’s instagram, lastly I wanted to become engaged after a year of being back together together. He agreed and we got back together.
We go 50/50, bill, insurance, mortgage and car is in my name. He pays half the mortgage and he pays for one the cars in my name. I grocery shop and pay for food, I do pay for a renovation loan we do not split.
He always disagrees with everything I say, anything I like, he’s like a teenager and I have to ask him to do alot. I cook dinners and he doesn’t cook… I’m noticing our sense of humor is different. Anything I show him he thinks is stupid. The only thing keeping me with him sometimes is my son. He is a great person and treats my son like gold.
He was fired from his job the day before thanksgiving and he has a new job. Huge pay cut from his last job.
I feel like I take on the responsibility of almost everything. I don’t know if I can take being with him. I’m afraid I will traumatize my son. We also have pets together. We’re a family. I love him but I know I deserve more.
TLDR; we’ve done couples therapy but he just doesn’t see me, there’s no empathy for me, I feel objectified, unseen, unheard. If he doesn’t make changes I can’t do it with him. Plus we barely have a sex life.
I feel like I settled for him. I feel like he will never appreciate me the way I need to be. I work in sales and worked overtime all November and December while he was unemployed he couldn’t even clean the house. Many times I cooked he occasionally picked up a carry out.
How do I end this relationship so that we can remain on good terms?
Or do I just ride it out until my son is a little older?
Any advice on how to salvage which would mean overlook everything he said but didn’t do…or I call it quits?