Hi, sorry if that has been asked before, and for any grammar mistakes. Throwaway account.
I thought bdsm was a popular thing among people but I haven’t actually thought about how popular it is and I am searching about it now, just for personal curiosity. I am an adult but have never had sex and don’t want to for a while too, so I can’t speak for myself or for others. I haven’t found any official results or a worldwide survey obviously, but Reddit tells me that most people are dominants/submissives (women being submissive a lot more and men being dominants a lot more). I know reddit isn’t what you’d call a reliable source but there aren’t any other place I can find discussions about it. What were your experiences or do you know any research or psychological studies about it? I wouldn’t want to label myself as anything, I want to think sex is less about rules and more about what you’re enjoying at that moment. Having strict roles and labels for the things we love makes me feel kinda pessimist about the experiences I’d have. I’m an overthinker and this kind of talk makes me anxious, so is it bdsm if I don’t want it to be a bdsm relationship? How can I have “regular” sex without one of us being superior to the other one or without having roles for ourselves?
I’m asking mostly for women’s experiences but I also welcome men’s opinions of course. Please be nice!