I love reading presidential histories and political biographies. Some of the most effective leaders seem to do everything wrong according to the world of self-help. For example Lyndon Johnson is often considered one of the most effective legislators in US history, but was famous for egregious flattery, backstabbing, arrogance, and most of all a bully. A bully to his staff, to other congressman, to his own wife. But he was possibly the only man capable of passing three civil rights laws in 4 years.
This extends to dozens of other people I’ve read about. I don’t know what I’m missing.