Hello,
This story is going to have to go back and forth to receive all of the information and connect the dots. So please bear with me.
So me, 27f and my boyfriend, 23m, have been dating since the end of March, so coming up on a year. We broke up for a couple of weeks in June at the beginning of the month. We didn’t “officially” get back together until the end of July. But after 2 weeks of being broken up, we started casually seeing each other again which turned into a daily thing like it was before we broke up.
In July, he planned a trip to Mexico for a month. Back information, he was stationed there when he was active military a year prior so he already knew the area. He works remotely now so he wanted to go stay for a month and do “traveling” since he was able to still work.
Beginning of July I went to my home state to spread my mother’s ashes that had passed away right before COVID blew up. It took us this long to get my family together once we were able to travel again. He was supposed to go with me on said trip, plane ticket bought and all, which ended up changing when we broke up. I switched it over to my best friend so she could go with me instead. Its a hard trip to do and I wanted support. While I was on the trip is when he told me over the phone that he planned a trip to Mexico (we aren’t officially dating again yet but actively seeing each other again).
Early in July, second week maybe, a girl commented emojis on his new instagram post of himself that included “👕🤍” which I confronted him about that night and asked him who the girl is and why she commented that. I was a lil sus naturally. He told me it was a girl he knew in Mexico when he was stationed there and he didn’t even see her comment on the post, and unsure of why she even commented the emojis. He said his ex is the one that got him the shirt he’s wearing in the picture so not sure why she would post that. That was the end of that conversation and I didn’t bring it back up.
Anyways, so end of July comes around, and the night before him going to Mexico we officially got back together before I drove him to the airport at 3am. I dropped him off and we both exchanged words in person and over text about how we’re going to miss each other so much and how much we love each other etc. I cried because I’m an emotional person and I was sad I wasn’t going to see him for a little over a month. But I was excited for him because his family is big about traveling and doing things like that while you can. Understandable.
He texts me when he makes it and we continue to communicate while he’s there. First night he’s there he sends me a picture of his food (he was so excited for the food there) and I noticed he had a beer plus a water and then plus a coke was also in the picture. It also looked like a second plate of food on the table in the top right corner but it was cut off and I couldn’t tell if it was like, another person meal or what. He’s a pretty big guy (big as in height and muscles big) so he can eat quite a bit of food, so I just brushed it off.
I have never been big on going through a persons phone. I’m big on trust and I learned to not go through someone’s phone unless you’re trying to find something. Well last night I cracked and decided to go through it. I didn’t find anything recent, I know secret places to check if he’s using dating apps etc. He has what’s app from being in the military and not having service in certain countries so he used that app to text. Well the girl that had commented emojis on his post back in July, had a text thread with him. It went way back before I was ever in the picture. But they started texting sometime early July and her asking him if he would ever want to come see her in Mexico. Days go bye in the texts and he sends her a confirmation flight screenshot of his trip booked for Mexico. The one he told me about while I was doing my mom’s memorial. Granted, we aren’t “officially” back together so I know that’s such a gray area. He sent her the flight booked and saying he’s excited to see her. He told her before he told me. Their texts then get worse and more sexual. Pictures exchanged. Then counting down the days basically. They made plans for her to pick him up from the airport and offered him to stay with her. He offered her to stay with him at his airbnb and she said yes. Also, the texts mentioned something about a blue shirt and him saying he’ll make sure to bring it for her.. so obvi pointing back to the instagram post I guess. It’s also the same exact time she commented the emojis.
Texts exchanged day of arriving to Mexico and she did pick him up. He only ended up being there a week because he got robbed in an Uber and his phone stolen. It was a whole ass situation. He texted her beginning of August when he was back home and it was only a few texts exchanged of him saying he got his phone back and she was happy for him. That was August. Last text showing was him texting her the first Friday in November at 3:30am saying her name, that’s it. She read it but never responded.
I went through his insta. Found her messages there. Not much there that I can tell, just random bs. I went through his stories archives and in August, me and him attended a nice wedding which we got a fire pic of us on a roof top pool of us intently looking in each others eyes, which she “heart” reacted to that story of us but nothing after that. (It will show who hearted it but won’t show who viewed it)
Im now living with him in his mom’s house, we have the entire finished basement to ourselves. Rent became way too expensive and inflation is ass and I was constantly living with my bank account in the negative. Working full time struggling. Him and his mom both offered for me to move in, so I can save up money. We have had talks about one day when we save enough, getting a house together. He sees a future with me, etc. I moved in on Halloween basically. I have my dog here with me. It’s a lil complicated now and I have no idea what to do. I found this info out months later and after I’ve moved in.
Not sure what to think or to do. It’s such a gray area of what was going on during that time frame. Our relationship has majorly depender since him being back. Way way more than what it was in the beginning stage. More serious. He’s become a way better boyfriend over time. I didn’t find anything recent in his phone except for that one text to her at 3:30am that she didn’t respond to. Not sure what his intentions were considering she doesn’t live anywhere near here and he doesn’t have any plans of going to Mexico after getting robbed and all that.
Obviously im very heart broken. I’ve gone through some pretty traumatic shit for only being in my 20s. I feel very betrayed because of this.
I can’t stop thinking about the fact that we officially got back together and I dropped him off at the airport crying. All while he’s texting someone else saying how much he misses her and excited to see her.. and gets picked up by her.
Pls be kind to me when giving advice. I want honest opinions and anyone else that maybe can relate. It’s a sticky situation.
Thank you in advance.
Also sorry it’s long and maybe chaotic on info. Pls ask any questions