I know this is a lot but pls at least read some, I don’t really have anyone to talk to who truly understands this problems and I don’t really have anyone to vent to who will understand.
Basically I was buying skincare in Superdrug’s today and couldn’t find some products. There was a lot of people cause the store was recently opened in the shopping centre and my parents kept pressuring me to ask the shop workers where I could find them. Me being very introverted and insecure of my looks, I obviously hated and feared the idea of speaking to people, not bc I’m scared of them but because I hate how my voice sounds. It’s really deep compared to other girls in my year. And I’ve been mocked by some boys in my class about it for a few months as they say I sound like a man. I’ve from then on found it even harder to speak to strangers so when I asked some of the shop keepers they kept saying “huh” cause they couldn’t hear me and I notice this happens a lot to me nowadays especially in school where people 80% of the time have to say “huh” when I talk to them and they all have this same face like they’re kinda tired and annoyed of having to ask me to speak up.
It was so embarrassing for me especially cause in front of them, my dad was like “u need to speak up u can’t just stand there”. The worse bit is when i went to buy pretzels for my siblings and I recently got a debit card so this was my 2nd time using it and it started declining. The woman kept asking me to put it back in and I did millions of times but nothing worked. I felt like I was keeping the queue up and when I asked to put my pin she kept leaning to hear me and saying “Huh”. In the end I used my dad’s cause something was wrong with my card but i got that lump in my throat u get when u feel like crying. Even my dad seemed ticked off and told me “Why are you always shy??U have to speak up or you’ll never get anything in life, ppl will just c u ask weak” .I felt like hitting myself. Why can I just speak up??Why did I have to have this ugly man voice.
I feel like no one wants to speak to me because of my looks and my voice sounding like a man. It’s bothered me since I became a teen but it’s starting to bother me now than ever as I’m getting older and I’ve always struggled to make friends or speak confidently to strangers because I hate how I look and mainly how my voice sounds. I don’t even look in the mirror nowadays and the whole reason I bought the skincare today was so I could achieve my goals of glowing up for 2024.I feel that i will never have confidence to speak If I don’t think I look pretty .I wish I had a higher pitched voice and prettier face like the girls in my class. Anyone gone through something similar or anyone got any tips on how to feel more confident or sound more feminine??
P.s: I’m re-uploading this post because it got taken off by moderators .