My husband was out of town for work for 3 months. I went to visit him half way through and noticed a connection between him and a female coworker. We fought a lot on that trip. We also had sex for the first time in months. Needless to say, I was suspicious. After a month his contract was over and he came home. We had lots of sex. He attributed it to being on antidepressant medication and finally feeling like we were on the same page again.
One night, he left his computer open and I saw a message from the other woman pop up. I felt guilty but I read the whole thread. They had messaged each other everyday while out of town. It was so flirty; inside jokes, pictures, sharing a love poem, and the worst, text messaged at 4am saying, “That was nice, wasn’t it?”
I tried to put it out of my mind for a week but one night it all spilled out and I admitted what I had done. He acted shocked, saying they’re just friends and that nothing happened. I asked him to pull up the thread so I could ask about the 4am text messages. When he did, all the messages were deleted except for a few. He acted all flustered and pretended to not know why they were gone. I finally got him to admit he deleted them. He said it’s because he was “embarrassed” by how flirty the messages seemed and he didn’t want me to get the wrong idea. He said the 4am text message was after a night out with everyone on the team and that it was nice that everyone bonded.
I want to believe him but I don’t. What do I do? How do I move forward? Am I crazy?
\*He might have to continue working with this woman in the future. My husband and I are in the same field and I may have to work with this woman in the future as well. I dread it.