My best friend, the one person in my life I had complete trust in, and faith in treated me like I was an option.
My best friend J has been in my life for 7 years and I have always been with him at his lowest and at fun times as well. I met him in my school days and we just clicked, towards the end, everyone kicked him out of every group and their friendships but I always stayed with him and comforted him, always texted him, and spoke out how I felt.
He made me meet his friend named I, we all started hanging out and playin’ games together. We then went to uni and i asked him to hang out, he told me to come over but kicked me out in 2 days and then called his other friend over and let her stay for more than 20 days. This happened twice but i let it go and didnt think about it that much.
Slowly he stopped messaging, hanging out, and playing games. Started lying and appearing offline and playing games with his other friend. I confronted him many times in the past year but he always gave some BS excuse or manipulated me into thinking they never played.
Last night he was stressed and wasn’t feeling good, i was awake at work since 7 am and travelled over 180km to another city and back home but was still awake till 4 am the next morning so that i could help him out. He lied that he was sleeping and played games with his other friend for more than 3 hours whereas I sacrificed my sleep to comfort him.
throughout uni whenever he was short of money or wasn’t feeling good i kept on texting him, calling him, and sending him money as i cared too much. I confronted him today and he said that “I think u care to much and you are an option to me”. He said deal with it, “I don’t care about you or how you feel i just feel like u are acting off lately and I prefer other people.”
I lost the only person i could talk to and don’t know what to do. It feels like he has put a blade in my chest and twisted it
PS: i feel like shit and crying all day but cannot cry due to personal trauma.