I (21F) met this guy (24M) at the bar almost 2 months ago. We hit it off immediately and I thought he was super funny and cute. Gradually over time I realized he might be an alcoholic. Granted he basically quit his job a while ago and has the means to kind of do whatever he wants without any consequences. He has the “might as well do it while your young mindset” and seems to be somewhat logical about it as he admitted to me he does have a drinking problem. Why that’s relevant is because I have grown to like him quite a bit and I don’t know if I can see myself being with someone like that.
He can be super standoffish unless we’re in person and we’re drunk. Which I don’t like because as an ideal partner I don’t want to be drunk all the time to be able to be around each other. I’ve suggest dates where there’s no drinking involved but it was the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced. From what he’s told me he seems very experienced with woman and I assumed that I would be swept off my feet? But I never get a random how are you call or a thinking about you text. It really has a friend vibe to it that I just can’t shake no matter how hard I flirt or have sex with him lol.
The thing is, we’re not serious. But he is the only person I’m having sex with. We were talking last night and I mentioned that when I’m having sex with one person I’m not doing anything with anyone else, and he didn’t mention that he does the same. My friend saw him at the bar with another girl last Friday and my friend mentioned that he didn’t seem into the girl but they went home together. I don’t know the full context because I feel like if I ask him than I’m coming off as a stalker ? I also saw on my ring camera that he deleted an app in his phone before he knocked on my door. Obviously we’re not serious but does it seem like he’s not that into me?
The only reason I even care about this is because I haven’t had feelings for someone like this for a long time. I really enjoy the good conversations we have and the nervousness in our interactions. It almost feels as though it’s partially reciprocated. I do want to bring up the concerns I have with him but I do feel like I should establish where we stand before setting any firm boundaries. If he doesn’t feel the same way I’m not going to move forward. I am curious what your thoughts are and if I should even continue or if I should get out while I can…