It’s just so frustrating and now approaching 30 years old I don’t know if I’ll ever be normal. I have so many friends that I really like yet struggle a lot to form good connections with. I also meet many people who I’d love to be good friends with and just can’t make it. I’ve got friends who I love so much but can’t form that deeper connection with, and then I see them meet new people and their relationships develop so naturally and I don’t know how to do that. I see them speaking and they enjoy each other so much more than when I’m interacting with them.
It always feels like a big effort. Doesn’t come naturally like I see with so many other people. It often leaves me feeling exhausted too. It frustrates me very much because I’d love for them to know that I actually do appreciate them very much but I just don’t know how to show them and make it happen naturally.
I’ve often thought I might have autism or something, sometimes I even wish I did because at least it would give me answers to why I face this struggle, but other times I think I can’t be, that I’m just bad at all this for no reason.
I’m not sure what to do at this point, if I can ever change, where to seek the help to change, and I just feel quite frustrated overall