When was your first orgasm you didn’t expect/have to guide and what was it like?
I’m 27yrs old, and I haven’t had an orgasm yet with someone else. I think I experience them with me pleasuring myself, but I don’t truly know if it’s an actual orgasm, because I have nothing to compare it too. I experienced the departure of my virginity with a guy 2 years ago, had sex for a year, but lost interest and ghosted him when I realized I was making him cum throughout the entire experience, but he wasn’t making the effort to do that for me. He attempted a few times, but something about him or his lack of taking control/ inability to embody a controlling persona made me feel weird that he would try and fail because it felt weird for him to be down there.
He was interested in doing so, it just seemed when he did go down on me, he had no idea what he was doing, which ultimately made me tell him to leave it alone, so we can get to it and I can make him cum as that did turn me on. But, when I was done with him, I had him to leave my house so I can provide myself with the pleasure I wanted. Which is the reason for cutting all contact with him because I could do it myself.
P.S. I provided hints or just straight up told him in passing moments for several years before we even had sex about what I liked, and yet, I never came by his hand (or tongue 👅) within that year of granting him access to my sexual energy.
I haven’t had sex with anyone after him and I think it’s because I’m concerned it would be pointless, plus I’m not interested in casual anything. And, I have to know them and have developed a trusting friendship relationship for at least a year or more to even decide if it’s worth it because my sexual energy is sacred to me, and I need to know that I can trust them before deciding to have sex. Also, I have kinks, so with that combined with my long process of evaluating another human to determine if they’re worth granting my sexual energy, I’m definitely in my head alot and overthinking things.
But, I do wonder if women are having orgasms without needing to guide a man and what it was like when it happened, and were you surprised?