I (28f) have been dating my bf (31m) for roughly 5 months.
I have child from a previous engagement (5f) we have been split nearly 4 years. We have both moved on and have dated since.
My BD (32m) and I get along great as friends and co parents. We typically plan handovers outside the house to make it easier on our child. This includes the beach, playgrounds, cafes, restaurants, out with mutual friends, ect. This has worked for us for years. We have gotten food/coffees together many times during handovers.
My boyfriend knew about our situation before we got together. He knew he was dating a single mom. I’ve never tried to hide that.
The issue started on Tuesday. I had gotten a new licence and new job. I wanted to celebrate and asked my bf to come around to celebrate. We were in touch all day, and the plan was on.
I had made arrangements for handover at a food truck event. I wanted to eat out to celebrate.
My bf said he wasn’t going to come, that he was too tired but he would come over the next day, Wednesday on Valentine’s Day.
I ended up meeting my ex at the food trucks. We had gotten food and after chatting (I was visibly excited after the days events) had a drink to celebrate.
When we went to leave, my ex realized he forgot our child’s school shoes. So I went to his to pick them up. When we arrived, our child wanted to have a bath at her dad’s before coming to mine. I don’t have a bath, and I knew she would fall asleep in the car on the way home- so we decided this would be ok.
I was at my exs house for 45 minutes all up.
During this time my snap maps were on and my BF knew where I was.
Fast forward to Wednesday (Valentine’s Day). My bf is being distant. I asked him if everything was ok and he said he was fine. I called 3 times through out the day trying to make plans but no answer.
When I finally did get through, he said he was at the pub with his mate and was too drunk to do anything. He told me I should go to my exs “since I like it so much”
When I explained to him what went down he doubled down and said “go stay at his then”
I still feel hurt about him not being there to celebrate my accomplishments, being tired was a valid excuse but then he ditched on Valentine’s Day when he said he would see me.
I told him that my ex/ daughter will be in my life for a very long time, that we are co parenting for the sake of the child. If he had a baby mama, I’d want him to have a good relationship with her as well. That I don’t want to be put into a position where I need to choose between my ex/child and him, that if he can’t handle a co parenting situation then he shouldn’t date single moms.
It might sound a bit harsh, but I don’t want to deal with this bs for the next 18+ years.
This would have been our first Valentine’s Day together and I didn’t even get a single phone call – just cancelled plans via text.
This is the first time he’s ever showed jealousy towards my ex.
I havn’t heard from him since yesterday evening although he’s been online. He tends to go a few days without contact when he’s upset, reguardless if it’s to do with me or not.
I don’t like going to bed upset and I’d rather talk things out. But I’ve learned to give him space.
Im not sure what to do moving forward. A part of me is having second thoughts of the relationship over this. The other half is saying he’s good in all other aspects.
TLDR: BF bailed on Valentine’s Day because he’s jealous of child’s father