i (18f) have a long distance boyfriend (18m). my small friend group in college consists of two other girls and two guys, and we’re all freshmen. im close with all of them, but recently i seem to be attracted to my one male friend (21m).
we drove around and he dropped me off since he just got his license, we talked about what if he got a girlfriend and i thought to myself how jealous i’d be of her if he got one.
he’s really wholesome and never even had a girlfriend yet, he’s awkward and usually really tense and quiet. this isnt the first time i’ve thought about him for a long time, it’s happened at least 3 other times where i’d kinda wonder what if he was my boyfriend instead. we’re really just friends, there’s nothing more to it and he clearly sees me as one as well. i was dared to ask a friend if they had a crush on me a couple of months ago (when i had no feelings) and i asked him. he also calls me names/slangs in our language that speak friendzone, but i still can’t get thoughts of him out of my head.
i really love my boyfriend, we’ve been together for 7 months now and he even fits my type. he’s made an effort for me when i couldn’t and wasn’t feeling well. he’s amazing, but also really dependent on me that it’s pressuring. i know im supposed to make him feel loved, but he also refuses to even like himself and struggles to change. my boyfriend’s sweet and really sensitive, but also pushy sometimes that i feel pressured to do things. maybe it’s wrong, but sometimes i don’t want to hang out with him online and do something, i kinda just want to do my own thing…
what do i do with these feelings? do i keep moving silently in hopes of these feelings going away, or telling them to one of the two and ruining my relationship with them?
tldr : im slowly falling for my close college friend who only sees me as a friend, while i have a long distance boyfriend and a great relationship. what do i do?