I am a grizzled combat veteran and construction worker in his mid-40s, and I have no friends. Or rather, I have a single best friend with which we hang out often, and my old army buddies of who live far away but would still die for them, but that’s it, there’s no one else. Even in my childhood, making friends never came easy to me given the nature of my family, always on the move. I was always the outsider, the weird one, and most people my age wanted nothing to do with me. So, I became more of a recluse, relying on my younger brother (who was the social butterfly) and my dog for companionship. The only time when I am very outgoing is when I am out drinking, and more often than not I indulge a bit too much just because I don’t want that feeling to end. Eventually, I realize that no one wants to be around a drunk, so I become even more depressed. This inevitability becomes a vicious cycle. In the army, I had a close circle of friends of 9 guys, and we did so much together. The bonds we forged can never be broken, but life and the nature of our profession split us apart. Most of them went on and started families. Over the years we kept in touch, and we all keep telling each other that we needed to get back together, at least for a weekend, be we all know it will never happen. The only meaningful human contact I have now is with that one friend, of which we get together maybe once or twice a month. I’ve given up on romantic relationships, now, all I want, nay, need, are friendships. People I can talk to without being judged, to have long, in depth conversations, to go somewhere and do things and not sit in front of a screen.