I (28F) recently became exclusive with his man (28M) after 7 months of talking (lol).
He said he was hesitant to get into a relationship with me at first because we might be too similar and have the same “blind spots” such as lack of fashion sense and artistic talent. We are both engineers, like intellectual conversations, and innovating. We get along very well and have honestly shared a lot of similar life experiences, despite growing up in opposite sides of the country.
I was a bit hurt when he compared me with his exes, saying that while he found them “dumb” and “ditzy” they also improved his fashion sense and made him better overall. He said he likes my intelligence and appreciates my “nerdy qualities”, but went back and forth about whether to commit or not. He said everything aligns with us except the fact that I cannot make him a “10” in terms of looks, and he’s not sure whether he can accept that about me.
Well, he ended up committing to me, and the past few weeks have been great. He’s called me consistently, treated me well on Valentine’s Day, and been open with me.
But there’s a part of me that can’t shake off what he said about his exes, and me not being like them. Not that he knows this, but I’ve been compared against and pitted against other women my entire life (toxic parenting), and it’s a trigger point for me when it happens.
I can’t tell if I should let go what he said and focus on what I have with him now, or if he showed me his true colors and priorities early on.
Any advice? Am I overthinking or should I be running for the hills?